


B-A-B-Y Baby

by Uncharted_Constellations



Series: Baby Driver Fics [1]
Category: Baby Driver (2017)
Genre: Mostly Non-Graphic, Sorry if the car stuff's inaccurate I only got a permit last month, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2018-12-03 22:56:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 41,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11542149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uncharted_Constellations/pseuds/Uncharted_Constellations
Summary: Various semi-related one-shots since I've re-watched this movie about 5 times now





	1. The one where Baby doesn't roll away fast enough.

_Tequila_

“Get us out of here Baby, Let’s move!”

“Come on let’s go!”

_“Move!”_

Baby jogged over to one of the black SUV’s, wincing as he hopped in the driver’s side. The others loaded up on various weaponry, Bats himself picked a grenade out of the box. Baby winced, shifting his weight off his left leg. It was probably bruised, although Darling got shot and wasn’t complaining. It probably wasn’t worth bringing it up.

The doors slammed to the tune, and Baby hit the accelerator, Bats pulled the pin from the grenade before they stopped at the window of the other car. The car floored ahead, the climax of the song ringing in his ears before the explosion went up behind them, filling the car with orange and yellow light.

 _“Tequila.”_ Baby was glad he couldn’t hear the others right now. Even with his botched hearing and headphones blaring, the gunshots still echoed in his mind. His fingers drummed on his hip as he turned, wincing at the sharp pain. His mind thought of vibrant reds, purples, and greens as they drove. 

Bats ripped out his headphones before blasting the radio, music somewhat scratchy in his ears. “WHOO!”

“Bats fuck fucking crazy.” Buddy sounded mad.

“When your folks name you Bats, you goina be crazy.”

“I don’t doubt you’re crazy, but your name is not bats.”

“So says you.” Baby tuned out of the conversation, trying to focus on the wordless music, ignoring his side. Feeling the vibrations of the pedals through the soles of his shoes. 

“Monica.” _A little bit of Monica in my life, a little bit of Erica by my side-_

“-Baby, what’s your real name?” _Cuz you know I’d walk a thousand miles if I could just see you…_

Bats shifted in his seat, clearly annoyed with not getting any answers from anyone else in the car. “Ah, stop, stop, stop up here.” Baby took his eyes off the road, bright red lights of the diner glaring at him. He made no moves to turn the wheel. 

“Stop up here… said _stop_ I’m hungry.” Bats was getting annoyed.

“No.” That didn’t help his mood.

“STOP THE CAR!” Bats slapped the dashboard, Baby flinched, wincing as his weight shifted onto his left leg again. The car slowed to a stop and Bats turned off the radio. “No? You tellin me no?”

“I don’t wanna go in there.” If there was ever a time for Buddy and Darling to intervene, Baby wished it were now. 

“I don’t wanna go in there?” Bats whispered. “Well hello Baby, bodies hit the floor back there, you don’t say shit. Now all of a sudden you gettin-you getting riled up about stopping at a diner?”

“I don’t wanna go in there, it sucks.” Baby felt light headed. He knew he wasn’t a good liar, but that barely even qualified as an excuse. 

“Well with that recommendation, we got’s to go in now.” Buddy and Darling said nothing. Baby quietly turned towards the diner entrance, ears ringing. The car turned off quietly, Baby made sure to be in front. Debora smiled at him from the counter, but he couldn’t muster the energy to shake his head, instead grimacing slightly. He did his best not to limp before sitting himself down at a booth, internally wincing as Bats sat right next to him, too close for comfort. 

Baby sat staring at the salt and pepper shakers, ignoring the so far quiet argument between the others. He did his best not to look into Debora’s eyes, her voice wavered as Bats ordered the cokes. He started playing with things on the side of the table, watching Bats’s hands gesturing. The music faded out of his mind before he could stop it, instead just listening to the warbling voices of the others. Buddy’s face was growing redder and redder as the conversation went on. 

“I’m gonna go right ahead and speak for the two of us.” Darling’s fur jacket slid quietly across the table. Baby couldn’t stop staring at Buddy’s eyes, as they attempted to burn a hole through Bats’s head. He flinched as Bats suddenly started clapping before sliding over even closer, and slapping his hand on his right shoulder. Baby couldn’t stop the hiss as Bats rammed into his left side. The others were too angry at each other to notice. 

Debbie was back with the drinks, still trying to make eye contact with him for some form of reassurance he couldn’t give her. Nobody but Bat’s touched the drinks. 

“What can I get you to eat?”

“Get these cats some happy meals, and uhm, I’m gonna take care of the bill uh… Debora. My friend here, he uh, he doesn’t like this place, but I think it’s kinda nice. So let me ask you something Debora-“ Bat’s suddenly grabbed his shoulder again, pulling him close again to his side, gun smashing into his hip. Baby winced but bit his lip. “-What’s his problem?”

“…Maybe your friend would like to fill out a suggestion’s slip. Tell us how to improve our service.” Debora pulled at the check pad, the sound of paper detaching from its binding echoed through the air. She slapped it down, dragging the tray across the table before curtly walking away.

“Baby you know that bitch?” Baby felt nauseous.

“No.”

“hmph… Let’s bounce.” Baby heard the gun slide out of Bats’s holster, he instinctively got up, grabbing the gun and pulling it out of Debbie’s view. “What the fuck is your problem?” His hand was burning as his grip tightened. Buddy and Darling were glaring at the two. 

“k… make sure you tip the nice lady…” Bats took off, putting the gun back on his hip. Buddy rattled the silverware behind him, following off with Darling at his heels. Baby grabbed the slip with a fwip as suddenly the music came back into focus. A folded 20 was on top of the slip. Baby stared at Debora while silently putting the napkin down on top of it. He quickly limped out of the diner, plugging his headphones back into their rightful place before getting back in the car. Everyone was quiet but Darling, who was humming the song from the diner. 

“What’d you do to your side?” Baby smiled quietly shaking his head. It wasn’t anything to be worried about. The car took off.

* * *

The pain in his side grew worse before becoming slightly numb. His pants felt too tight on that side and his eyes were drooping. It wasn’t even that late at night. They quietly stepped out of the elevator. The lights were flicked on and Doc stared. Baby could tell he was angry, probably for once the first person to notice rather than the last.

“Bananas. Bananas is a code word, whenever a deal is done with one of my clients, they call me on the phone and they say the word bananas, and then they hang up.” Baby felt the vibration through the floor as Bats dropped the duffle bags. “I did not hear the word bananas tonight. So, you tell me who died.” 

The bright lights were burning and buzzing, the others didn’t seem bothered. 

“Well your contacts was cops doc-“

“I know. They were my cops.” 

“Yeah… well they fired first.” _Lie._ “And I’m not gonna take a bullet for you or nobody else in this motherfucker.”

“Is that true, they fired first?” 

“Yup.” Buddy slightly surprised him. He didn’t think he would side with Bats after that argument. Baby stumbled slightly, grimacing as weight went back on his left. Doc was the only one to notice.

“What happened to Baby?”

“Nothin happened, he didn’t even fire anythin-“ Bats was cut off as Doc walked over, shoes pounding the tiles. Doc suddenly jabbed at Baby’s side, causing him to hiss. Bat’s strutted over and yanked his sweatshirt up suddenly, revealing a red stain on his shirt underneath. Baby blinked in surprise. He thought he dodged everything. 

“Yo Baby, why didn’t you say nothing earlier?” Darling walked over, pushing Baby down gently into a chair. Baby frowned looking down at his side, sliding the waist band of his jeans down slightly, exposing glimmering red and a shine of silver. He finally noticed the muddy brown stain that was slowly growing down his dark pant leg. 

“Damnit kid…” Doc left the room, cell phone in hand. Doc wasn’t actually a doctor unfortunately. Darling pulled off her coat, exposing a small graze on her shoulder, already barely bleeding. Probably why she didn’t complain about it. Docs heals pounded back into the room.

“Someone’ll be here in a little while. Why the hell didn’t you say anything Baby?!” 

“I didn’t- I thought I just bruised it when I was knocked over,” he was rambling. The red heavily contrasted against the black and white of the rest of the outfit. 

“Go home jobs off.”

“Woa-"

“Hey-“

“Doc I’m fine really,” Baby mumbled. 

“Yeah come’n man listen to the kid.” Bats argued. 

“’The Kid’ didn’t even notice the music shut off a minute ago.” Baby confusedly looked at the iPod, and the blinking red battery light when he tried to turn it on. “Not to mention we’re 24 hours from being descended upon by this entire city.”

Baby zoned out, pulling a pair of red sunglasses out of his jacket pocket, sliding them on to block out the blinding light. Darling’s thin fingers slid across his forehead and through his hair. He snapped back into awareness as Doc snapped his fingers in front of his face. 

“You in?”

“Am I in?” He answered without thinking. He suddenly remembered he wasn’t paying back Doc anymore. 

“Don’t you have any other drivers?” Bats yelled.

“I’ve never needed one cuz nobody was stupid enough to get him shot! The word play may be lost on you but you shouldn’t bring a Baby to a gunfight!”

“I’m fine.” The ‘I’ was hard to pronounce suddenly. Darlings nails clicked against the rims of his sunglasses. Baby could hear the ringing in his ears raised slightly in volume, and he instinctively started searching through his pockets for a different iPod. Whenever he found another pair of sunglasses he just popped them right on his head with the others. His fingers eventually caught onto the edge of a red shuffle, it was either classical music or hip hop but Baby didn’t have a preference as he plugged his headphones in and turned it on. He watched Darling’s lips as they counted the number of sunglasses he was wearing. Apparently, there was 6; it explained why the room got so much darker. 

Baby hummed the song under his breath while Bats and Doc argued. Darling was still petting his hair, drumming her fingers lightly on his head. She was sitting on his desk while Buddy had begun to stitch up the graze on her arm. Bats suddenly stalked out of the room and Doc was looking smug. 

Suddenly Darling’s hand was no longer in his hair, and Buddy was lifting him up onto the table. Baby yelped in both surprise and pain. A thick woman with scruffy blonde hair was cutting off the clothes on his side. She must’ve been the person Doc had called. 

Buddy had taken off his belt, folding it once before shoving it in Baby’s mouth. The woman took the opportunity to pour rubbing alcohol on his side. Baby screamed and Darling went back to petting his head. Baby’s knuckles turned white as he gripped the table. The woman quickly started cleaning up the blood, working towards the wound. Doc had disappeared to somewhere else in the safehouse, and Baby still had no idea where Bats was. Baby felt a sharp pain on his thigh before the pain started to ease. Soon he couldn’t even tell if he could move his toes. Darling was removing the excess sunglasses and the belt gag as Buddy disappeared as well. 

Baby could hear the clink of medical tools through his headphones, glad that he couldn’t feel whatever she was doing. He heard the brisk claps of Docs shoes as clean clothes were dropped on the main planning table. He briskly turned around and disappeared again, door shutting in beat with the song. Half the time he wondered if his headphones were even plugged in considering how often the crew managed to move perfectly with the beat, the other half he wondered if he was just imagining the perfect sync between his music and the world. 

He was light headed and dizzy by the time the woman finished the stitches, and his leg was still dead to the world. The woman disappeared to go find Doc and Darling went to check on Buddy, or at least to give Baby some privacy as he changed. The shirt and hoodie was an easy enough switch other than transferring the contents of the pockets. Getting his pants off wasn’t very hard either but getting the sweats on was. He couldn’t lift his own leg up to slide it in, which left him trying to lift up the leg with one arm and adjusting the pants with the other. He nearly fell off the table before the waistband was carefully pulled up to his waist, not wanting to get it caught on the bandages. 

He felt too tired after that to make it back to the cots, and there was no one that could help him in sight to limp his way over anyhow. Baby tucked the headphones back into his ears, balling up his bloodied clothes into a lumpy pillow, falling asleep directly on the planning table, completely forgetting his napkin note to Debora.

* * *

Baby woke up when he was slapped in the head with a banana. Bats was standing over him, waving the offending fruit in the air before throwing it at him. Baby caught it with fumbling fingers before carefully sliding off the table. His left leg was no longer dead weight but it still felt a bit numb. He leaned against the table, taking a few cautious steps. The leg supported his weight but it took some effort to move it forward to walk. It would also be a problem trying to manage the clutch.

“So, you gonna be able to drive or not?” Bats asked, Darling stumbled into the room yawning. Baby sat down in one of the chairs, mimicking the setup of the car. When he jammed his left foot where the clutch would be it was slow and shaky. Baby wasn’t even sure if that would’ve hit the pedal. 

“I know how to drive stick-shift without clutch… But I’m better _with_ it… Plus braking’s a bitch and if the car gets totaled I’m not exactly gonna be able to run.” Bats frowned. “But other than that, I’m good.” 

“I can do the clutch.” Darling glared at them from the other side of the table. “What, it’s not exactly like the kid’s big enough to take up the whole seat, he tells me when to push and I push it.”

“I hope you two plan on practicing that in the garage first.” Bats grumbled. Buddy walked in next, hair mussed. 

“We doin it?”

“Seeing if we can figure out how to work the clutch,” Darling answered, sucking at Buddy’s neck. 

“No you don’t, it’s too early fo’ that.” Bats threw the discarded banana at the couple as Doc walked in, carrying a tray of coffee. Bats quickly snatched a cup out of the tray, taking a sip before making a sour face. Rather than admitting defeat he grumpily drank it. Buddy and Baby drank it without problem, but Baby caught Darling sliding a few sugar packets out of her purse. 

She got up, sliding on her shoes by the elevator. “Come on Baby let’s see if we can figure this out.” Baby followed after her, sliding on his black converse. Doc and Buddy made confused faces as the elevator shut.

* * *

Bats came down a short while later, watching the pair as they figured out a rhythm. Luckily, they weren’t flying around the garage in true Baby style, but they were still going fast. The car came to a stop next to bats, the door opened up to one of the weirdest things he had ever seen. Darling was sitting behind baby, right leg folded up behind baby’s back and left leg on the clutch pedal. Baby was in front of her, right leg on the break and left leg jammed into the front of the seat so it didn't get in the way. Darling and Baby were both wearing sunglasses, and Darling was using Baby’s right earbud. The seatbelt looked weirdly bent over the two of them.

“You two havin fun?” Bats took an annoyingly long sip of his coffee.

“Hell yeah.” Darling had a wide grin.

“I think it’ll work, just gotta hope we don't get hit.” Bats smiled at that. “Same plan, Darlin’s just gonna have to run a bit faster to get in the car.” 

“Darn I was plannin on wearing stilletos.” Baby laughed quietly, Darling smiled. Whether Baby liked it or not he was gonna have to go through with the job.

* * *

Baby froze at the gunshot and the woman’s screams. He snapped out of it when Darling shoved him forward to slide in behind him, stealing an earbud and switching the privacy glasses for pale pink sunglasses. He tapped her leg for clutch before reversing, tapping again as they jumped forward, swerving away from the construction vehicle.

The police were on their tail fast, but none of the other cars joined in the chase. Baby took a turn into a nearby mall parking lot. Expertly swerving around the other cars while the police were smashing into cars pulling out and shopping carts left and right. Baby floored it as they went over the parking lot divider, landing back on the main road, swerving back into traffic. The cops who had parked their cars in front of the parking lot exits were too slow getting back in their cars. 

The car slid into the parking garage, and Hocus Pocus ended as the car doors opened. Buddy hopped into the driver’s seat with Bats in the passenger’s seat. Baby and Darling slid in the back, earbuds popping out briefly as they got in, and quickly put back in after. 

Only the Good Die Young blasted out of the headphones with some nonsense song quietly playing through the radio. All four of them lazily through off their sunglasses/privacy glasses and Bats and Buddy shrugged off their coats before pulling out of the garage. A police car drove by, not looking twice. 

“You have fun Darlin?” Buddy asked from the front, stopping at the stop light.

“Had a few more heart attacks then usual but yeah.” Darling smiled, humming the tune. “Music does make it way more fun though Bats.” He stuck his tongue out from the front seat in response. 

_“and Darling only the good die young.”_ She smiled at the mention of her own moniker. Baby winced at the sunlight and pulled out a pair of yellow rimmed sunglasses. 

“Where the fuck you get all those?” Bats asked, turning from the front seat. 

“Most people leave sunglasses in their cars… iPods too sometimes…” Baby said.

“Huh. That explains the one with pink rhinestones.” Darling pulled her hair up.

“Yeah okay, but why do you keep so many on you at all times?”

“I have a lot of pockets.” Baby shrugged, Bats went back to facing front. They pulled into the safe house’s garage, Bats looked out the window as they got to their level.

“Doc doing a job tomorrow?” 

Baby shook his head and looked out the window, three figures stood around the elevator. They suddenly turned and opened fire on the vehicle. They all ducked down in the car, Buddy floored it backwards. 

“BAANAAANAAAAS!” Darling pulled out her earbud, dropping low behind Bats’s seat, Baby mirroring her behind Buddy. 

“Damnit Bats!” Buddy stopped the car sideways near the ramp. Bats slid out his seat, and Buddy quickly jumped over the middle divider and landed next to him, slamming the doors shut. Darling and Baby followed suit. Bats handed Baby his pistol as they all pulled out their guns from the job. The other three quickly jumped up, shooting bullets over the roof of the car. Baby was crouched behind the car as the others moved around the side to hide behind the concrete pillar instead. Baby put the right earbud back in as the window above him shattered. He shuffled his way towards the others, silently cursing his uncooperative leg. 

Baby’s burner phone buzzed in his pocket, he flipped it open. _“What the hell is going on down there?!”_

“Some guys are shooting at us, I think they know what happened last night.”

 _“Damnit… Pass the phone to Buddy.”_ Baby rose somewhat shakily, pressing the phone to the other man’s ear while he continued shooting. Baby’s headphones were good, but the gunfire still got through, making his brain ring. Buddy could seemingly hear Doc however and kept saying yup before nodding his head as the call ended. Baby flipped the phone shut before shoving it back in his pocket. 

“We gotta keep em near the elevators, shooting at us. Either Doc’s comin down, or he’s sending someone.” He winced as a bullet clipped his ear, they all slammed back against the pillar. The other three reloaded their guns, slamming the clips in at the same time, in beat with We Will Rock You. Bats shot one of the men in the head on a clap. Darling got a shoulder on a stomp. They were too far away for either group to get perfect shots in. 

As the elevator doors started to open, the three increased the speed of their shots to try and block out the metallic whirring sound. Baby was surprised to see Doc himself nail the other two men in the heads with a shotgun, on a clap and a stomp respectively. Doc glared at the group expectantly from across the parking lot. Bats and Buddy reached into the car for the loot, while Darling grabbed the discarded coats and visors. 

As they walked over Baby decided that Doc did indeed look scarier with blood spattered on his face. “I thought you said they were all dead Bats.”

“All the ones who were there was. They must’ve been outside or some-“ Bats dropped to the ground right before the guitar solo, Doc lowered his shotgun. “I’m going to guess that the butcher’s men did not shoot first.” The silence was answer enough. “Knew I should’ve asked Baby… Alright you three, we’re gonna have to find a new safehouse. Help pack and burn the place and I’ll split Bats cut between the three-“ Doc took one look at Baby, who was still looking at Bats body on the ground, clothes blending into the bloody mess expanding from the scalp “-two of you.” 

Buddy and Darling headed to the elevator, Darling having a strange look on her face. Maybe she was upset that Buddy didn’t get to kill Bats for her after all. 

“You go home Baby, when we get a new safehouse I’ll call you. Until then, consider this a vacation.” Baby handed over his old burner automatically, a new one was slapped into the palm of his hand. Doc walked off to the elevator, waiting for it to come back down. Baby walked away, brain on autopilot. 

He was a block away from his apartment, leg throbbing when suddenly he remembered his note to Debora.


	2. The one where Baby, Buddy, and Darling meet.

Buddy tapped his foot anxiously against the ground. The woman sitting across from him with the red hair glared, he stopped. It was his second job overall, but his first in Atlanta. The safehouse was cold and clinical, except for some toy cars spread out around the main table. The chalk board was powdered white from old plans, little dashes still visible. The woman next to him looked younger, shoulder length brown hair half-tied in a bun, pale pink lipstick matching her heals; She caught him looking and winked. 

Doc walked through the elevator, with someone short in shades striding behind him, practically jogging to keep up. 

“What happened to Gold?” Came from the other side of the table.

“This little punk managed to steal the car and the loot right out from under him. Baby this is Darling, Buddy, and Phoenix.” The boy gave a small wave. His eyes were hidden with too large sunglasses, earbuds poked out the sides of his head. A pink scar shaped like a v poked out behind the top of the glasses.

“Is he even old enough for a permit?” Phoenix grumbled.

“No but he’s old enough to see over the wheel.” Doc said straight-faced, picking up a piece of chalk, sketching out the main plan. Darling was looking at Baby like someone looking at an actual baby. Baby tapped his fingers on the table to a beat, likely whatever he was listening to. 

Doc drew out a plan for what looked like an average bank robbery, occasionally pulling pictures out of the pocket and taping them to the sides of the chalk board. Black baseball caps, red tinted sunglasses, black trench coats, A black wig, a purple dress, and a pale blue collared shirt.

“Phoenix you drive the car to Fidelity Bank on Peach Street, you three go into the bank at 9:30 sharp, 10 minutes before the new guard arrives. Baby you hop in the front seat as soon as they come out of the bank, Phoenix in the passenger seat and you two in the back. Make sure the police are completely out of range before going to make the switch, the cars at Campanile Parking, the cars a grey corolla 85 on the third level. The black wig’ll be waiting in the switch car for Phoenix. Buddy and Darling you wear these-“ he pointed to the blue shirt and purple dress “-under the coats, make sure you take off the coats before pulling out of the parking garage, you two are sitting in the front. Try not to shoot anyone in front of the kid, that’s upsetting to most of them.”

Despite not having taken off his headphones Buddy caught Baby mouthing the name of the parking garage and the switch car over and over to make it stick. 

“Doc what are the odds of us making it out of this with tiny driving.”

“I’d say at least 4% better than with the old driver. It’s a lot harder to shoot the driver when he barely pops out of the top of the steering wheel. I’m telling you now Phoenix if you’re going to be troublesome you might as well walk into that elevator right now.” Nobody moved. “That’s what I thought. I want you all here in 3 days, 7:30 sharp. If you aren’t here you aren’t in the car.” Doc walked out with Baby on his tail. 

“You two don’t have a problem with this?” 

“Gold smoked with the windows up. ‘Sides kid is quiet.” Darling answered, adjusting her dark plum jacket.

“First job with him, I’m not gonna complain.” Phoenix sneered at the answer before walking out, short heels clicking against the floor. Her red ponytail whisked through the air with every step she took. 

“Someone’s gonna pull that stick out of her ass eventually… Names Monica, what’s yours.”

“…Jason.”

* * *

Phoenix parked the car across the street from the bank. He went to get out when Baby raised his finger, holding his iPod in front of his face intensely. Buddy supposed he was looking at the clock. 

“…Okay go.” The group hopped out of the car, popping open the trunk for their weapons and bags. Baby was leaning forward against the seat divider, looking ready to hop into the driver’s seat at a moment’s notice. 

The bank wasn’t extraordinarily busy, and a quick round of bullets shot into the ceiling got them access to the back quickly, a mousy short teller who hadn’t been working there long looked terrified. By the time the alarm finally went off they were already walking back past the counters. They broke into a sprint out the doors. Baby landed in the seat before they got onto the street. The group clambered in quickly, and the car took off the second all the doors were shut. Everyone in the car quickly pulled on seatbelts as the car swerved tight around the corner. Sirens came from a short distance behind them, Buddy caught Baby grinning through the mirror. He slowly reached his arm up to the hand support.

Darling hooted as they rode through the intersection at the red light. Baby swerved the car at all the right moments, and they heard a crash as the police car rammed into a red SUV. The car suddenly turned into an Alley just wide enough for the car, they flew out turning left causing a long series of honking cars behind them. A police car ahead turned after them, Baby made a sharp U-turn, speeding down the street, making a sharp right down a side street, skidding before reversing down one on the other side of the building. Buddy saw the car fly down the other main road, completely missing them. They waited for the sirens to quiet before driving forward, going the opposite direction of the other car. They passed a different cop on the road, Buddy and Darling ducked down and Baby shook out his earbuds and sunglasses. They didn’t bat their eyes at what looked like a mother teaching her son how to drive. 

Baby quickly sped up the car, wincing slightly at the sun. They swerved into the car parks entrance, quickly gliding up the ramps to the third level. They slid to a stop next to the aforementioned Corolla. Baby turned the car off before opening his door, unlocking the other car for Buddy before hopping in the back, taking off his hoodie and putting his earbuds back in. Phoenix hopped in the other side, pulling her hair up into a hairnet and pulling on the black wig. It didn’t look particularly good up close but it was fine from outside the car. Buddy and Darling shrugged off their costumes, tossing them into the middle seat in the back. Buddy started the car and they pulled out. 

“What time is it?” Darling asked, changing the radio.

“8:49,” Baby said quietly from the backseat. 

“…That would’ve taken Gold half an hour…” Phoenix mumbled under her breath. Buddy caught Baby grinning cheekily from the mirror.

* * *

Doc seemed surprised that they were back so fast, clearly having set out to read the newspaper during their absence. “What did the guard show up early?” They slammed the bags of cash down on the table. “Told you the kid was fucking good didn’t I.” 

Doc got up and dumped all the money on the counter, sorting it by value and bill size, checking them all for marks or fakes. Only two bands of cash were taken out before he started divvying up the money into sets of five. Buddy kept listening for sirens that didn’t come. 

Doc put the money into 5 different bags and slid them down the table one by one. Darling slid something into Buddy’s before sliding it to him. She winked again before catching her own bag.The elevator ride down was quiet. Phoenix got off first, covering Baby’s eyes with one hand and flipping off everyone else with the other. Darling got off next, blowing a kiss before the elevator door shut. The rest of them got off at the next stop, Buddy watched as the two bags were thrown into Docs car, Baby climbing into the passenger seat. Buddy tucked his own cash in a hatch under one of the back seats, ducking down and changing his shirt to dark blue and throwing on his worn leather jacket. 

Doc and Baby left the garage before he did. Buddy made it back to his new apartment without a hitch, waiting until the shades were pulled and the door was firmly locked before opening the bag. Neat stacks of 10 grand were piled up, and a white card with a stamp of purple lipstick and a phone number was sitting on top. Buddy grinned turning on the TV, laughing at the headline of "Midget Getaway Driver Escapes Cops."


	3. The one where Eddie No-Nose has no common sense.

Baby saw Bats and Griff sitting together at the table and nearly just face-planted against the wall. Eddie No-Nose was sitting next to Bats and the group was making small talk. Baby sat down at his table to the back and wasn’t surprised when Griff got up and slapped the glasses off his face. 

“Sup Baby.” Baby gave him a bored glare, Griff laughed before skipping back over to the planning table. 

“You all know each other by now so we can skip introductions.” Doc walked into the room, stopping in front of the board. Baby watched as the plan was sketched out, yellow trench coats with reversible red sides. Yellow for the heist, red for the getaway. A green shirt for baby to wear under his hoodie, and anything for the others after the switch. Plastic yellow smiley face masks were sitting off to the side. The heist began at 5 in the afternoon 2 days from now, and Doc had already secured a car, so he wouldn’t have to steal one himself. It was a gem heist, which was particularly annoying. It took more time to secure gems than cash, and it usually took longer to escape from the cops. More often than not they had to switch cars partway through the job. 

“Any questions?” Baby pulled on another pair of sunglasses, ducking as Griff threw one of the plastic masks at his face. “Boys don’t make me go over there.” Bats laughed.

* * *

Baby plugged his headphones into the blue shuffle, counting clicks to get to the song he wanted. He left his right earbud out, knowing Bats would likely pull it out anyway without Darling or Buddy to keep an eye on him. 

The alarm went off, it didn’t look like they were done yet though, and it was a full 30 seconds before they zipped up their bags, Baby could hear faint sirens in the distance. Baby got the car ready, foot on the clutch and hovering over the gas. The second they were in the car it jumped forward, slamming the doors shut. Baby could already see blue and red lights flashing in the mirrors. Eddie No-Nose was pounding his hands frantically on Baby’s seat like it might make the car go faster somehow. 

Baby swerved into the other lane, flying by the cop car behind them going backwards. The cop tried doing a quick U-turn but was hit by a SUV coming from the other way. Baby pulled back into the right lane before the car blasted forward right past the totaled cop car. Baby and Eddie ducked as the police woman took a few shots at them, shattering Eddie’s window. Another cop car coming from the other direction slid into their side, turning his car sideways, getting out in front to take shots at them head on. Baby and Bats ducked down in their seats, Baby got ready to slide into a side street when Eddie suddenly leaned forward, cocking the gun right next to Baby’s right ear. Before he could do anything he fired through the windshield at the cop. 

Baby let go of the wheel, grabbing his head. If the cop wasn’t dead already, he was surely so when the car plowed into him, before crashing into the cop car. Baby felt his sunglasses break as the airbags exploded out. His ears were ringing, and he could barely hear the music in his left ear. He kept his eyes closed as he stumbled out of the door, falling on the ground. He brushed the broken plastic away from his eyes. Someone grabbed Baby’s arm, dragging him up before pulling. Baby kept his eyes closed as he made sure there was no glass left on his face, running hard with someone dragging him in the right direction.

Eventually he opened his eyes, it turns out Bats was the one pulling him along, Griff in front and Eddie in the back. Bats was yelling at him but all he could hear was a vague warbling sound, his lips moving too fast to read. 

“LOOK WHATEVER YOU’RE SAYING, I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” Baby shouted. He caught Bats mouthing ‘damnit’. He couldn’t make out whatever Eddie or Griff was saying since they were facing the other way. His head pounded and his chest ached. Eddie picked out the closest older manual car he could find, forcing out the older driver at gun point. 

Baby slid into the drivers seat, finding a pair of black ray bands in the cup holder. He put them on as the others loaded themselves and the loot into the car. The car sped forward, Bats ditched his trench coat and the others sunk down low in the seats. A different officer flew down the street, completely ignoring them. Baby sped up, driving the car over the speed limit but still obeying most of the traffic laws. They flew into the car park, driving up to the second level. The silver switch car was parked in the corner, baby slid the car to a stop 2 spots away, putting it in park and taking the key. He took off his hoodie, wrapping it around his waist. All the coats and masks were chucked in the trunk with the loot. Baby collapsed in the back seat, Bats on his right. Griff got in the driver’s seat and Eddie was in the passenger’s seat. 

Baby pulled out his left earbud, seeing as his whole head was ringing, music wouldn't help right now. Bats fingers swiped Baby’s right ear, coming back with a bit of blood on the pad of his pointer finger. Baby buckled up sliding low into the seat, fingers grazing over the speakers. 

He hadn’t realized he had dozed off until Doc was poking at his shoulder in the safe house garage. Baby slid off his sunglasses so he could see him better. 

_“Can you hear?”_ Baby shook his head. 

“It’s just humming in my left ear, the right one’s not working at all right now.” Doc grimaced, helping Baby get out of the car. He was a bit more off balanced than usual but it was to be expected. Baby didn’t see Docs face move at all during the elevator ride up. Bats and Griff were sitting at the table, drinking water. 3 bags sat on the counter, but there were no traces of Eddie No-Nose. Baby decided he didn’t wanna think about it, collapsing at the main table and tucking his head into his arms. Eyes peeking out over his arms, reading the conversation.

 _“I’ve got a buyer in New Orleans and another in Miami, when the cash comes in, you’ll all get the call to come in.”_ Three new burner phones slid down the table, and three slightly used ones slid back. _“Griff I’m gonna need you to sunset the car, I’ll call the medic down to deal with your ears and stitches from the glass.”_ Baby finally noticed a short cut down the side of Bats’s face, blood thickened on the edge of his jaw. Baby himself probably had a few of his own. 

Griff walked out with car keys in hand, Bats kicked his legs up on the table, clearly not interested in attempting to make small talk. Not that Baby could easily understand him anyway with all of the contractions and cut words. Doc dropped a water bottle in front of Baby before pulling out special cases, sorting the jewels and cash before sorting the gems themselves by type and size. 

The Medic, a thick woman with short cut blonde hair walked in, holding her normal case and then another one, which probably had something to check Baby’s ears. She was on the phone with someone as she did various tests and checks, probably a doctor who specialized in ears. It was eventually decided that Baby would actually have to go to the doctor, likely out of state. She set off stitching a small cut on his forehead before going over and working on Bats. 

Doc arranged an appointment somewhere in Miami, getting another ticket on the plane since he had already bought one for the exchange. 

_“I’ll pick you up Sunday, try not to hurt your ears more. Consider this to be under your ‘insurance’.”_

Baby walked out of the elevator, making his way over to the parking garage exit. His head still hurt and his ears were ringing louder than ever, but the fresh air on his face felt nice. When he eventually stumbled into the apartment, he merely signed ‘headache’ to Joe before walking into his room and collapsing on the bed.

* * *

He could just barely hear out of his left ear by the time Baby got to the appointment. The Doctor, who apparently did a few jobs with Doc years ago, said something about a cochlear implant but Doc said no, seeing that it was too much of an identifying feature. He left Baby to be fitted for hearing aids while he did the exchange. Baby got to listen, or read lips about a story with the old getaway driver before him, and the time that they apparently crashed through the front of a sushi shop, and had to run for 4 miles before finally getting away and making it to the switch. 

By the time the hearing aids were turned on Baby could hear as well as usual through his left ear, and could hear somewhat okay through his right ear, although it still sounded like warbled garbage. They might’ve been able to get it a bit better done if they had weeks to wait, but Doc already had a job set up for next week, and there wasn’t any time at the moment. 

Baby threw his old earbuds in the trash, seeing that they were practically useless now. Doc picked him up outside half an hour later, bags of cash securely hidden under a locked hatch under the back seat. 

By the next day he was being dropped off back at the apartment, Joe hugging him tightly before promptly making fun of the white devices in his ears. Baby just signed ‘jealous?’ before going into the kitchen to make breakfast. 

A week later Baby came home to a box on his bed. There were two sets of overhead headphones, a black standard pair of headphones with the word “work” written on the box with sharpie, and a nicer looking white pair with the word “home” written on it. A sticky note was stuck in between them, with Docs sharp handwriting on it. 

_“Consider this your Hazard Pay.”_

Baby quickly ran to his stash of iPods, cutting open the box with a sharp knife before picking out a blue nano with a bird stamp stuck to the back. He smiled as he got to listen to his iPods for the first time in weeks.


	4. The one where Baby's a lady and the other crooks are embarrasing to watch.

Baby felt her hip vibrate halfway through her date with Debbie and groaned internally. 

“Work?” Debbie still didn’t know what she did, even after six months of dating. 

“Maybe, I gotta-“ she pointed out the window before walking outside, flipping open the burner phone. 

_“The bakers here with some new pies to try, they’re out of the oven in half an hour. You coming for desert?”_

“Yeah Doc, I just gotta wrap something up.”

 _“Tell Debora I said hi.”_ The call ended. Baby shivered subconsciously before walking back into the restaurant. 

“We got about five minutes before I gotta book it,” Baby said, Debbie sighed sympathetically. Baby called over a waiter to get a box for her food. 

“Five minutes isn’t a lot of time.”

“It’s enough for something.” Baby winked, thanking the waiter for the box before scraping in the second half of her burger and fries. She sealed the box before leaning over the table to kiss Debbie, ignoring the other customers in the restaurant. “See you tomorrow,” Baby said slapping a hundred on the table for the bill and running before Debbie could argue.

* * *

Baby was glad to see Darling, although Buddy was nowhere to be seen. Phoenix, the angry red headed woman was glaring as she walked in. Griff sat across from both of them, picking something out of his teeth. Darling ran over the second Baby sat down at her desk, stealing a fry from her box. 

“I’m _starving_.” Darling mumbled through the food. Baby pulled an earbud out to listen to her as the elevator opened, the sharp clicks of Doc’s shoes walking by. Darling walked off to the main table with Baby’s food, Baby tailing behind her. “I like that dress on you,” Darling commented as Doc started pulling photos out of his coat, taping them to the sides of the board.

“I was out when Doc called, didn’t have a chance to change.” Baby switched the music to something without lyrics so it was easier to make out what Doc was saying. Dress code was always one of Baby’s favorite things. Half of the things Doc came up with were either ridiculous enough for a kid’s show or cool enough for an action movie. 

This week had bejeweled masquerade style masks. Same old black trench coats that had been reused so often that they had stitches across them like lightning bolts. The girls had navy blue halter tops, Griff had the same color but in a casual tee. Bright blue leggings for the girls and black pants for Griff. A bright blue wig was hanging off the side of the chalk board, clearly to cover up Phoenix’s bright red locks. Baby was pretty sure she had a pair of sunglasses in the apartment in the same color. 

It was another simple bank robbery, at a nicer bank that meant a slightly longer escape but more cash. Baby was going to have to get a fast car for this one, she considered the fun of a blue vehicle before deciding to go practical with grey or black. 

The job was tomorrow at 3 p.m., which was a bit soon, but according to the source, a man with a nasal problem, one of the guards was on vacation, and another was out sick with the flu. They hadn’t been able to get anyone else to cover so the bank only had one guard rather than the usual three. Which Baby thought was stupid considering they did a job at least once a week, it’s like they wanted to be robbed.

“Any questions?” 

“Yeah where the hell’s Buddy?” Griff grumbled, all three women sighed.

“He’s taking care of something in New York,” Darling said, shoving another fry in her mouth. Baby tied the top half of her hair up, knowing the rest would just fall back down in a minute. It was too short to work with and too long to be out of the way. 

“Something or some _one_?” Darling answered by winking. Baby decided not to think about it, switching from the mostly techno green iPod to the pink one filled with campy earworm songs. She keeps the pink one on her more often than she’d care to admit. 

“Hey Baby want a ride home… or somewhere remotely close to it?” Darling asked. Baby checked the time and realized it was nearly 10. While she knew how to protect herself it was stupid to say no, especially while she was still trapped in this torture device known as a dress. 

“Yeah okay.” Darling cheered, grabbing Baby’s food and dashing to the elevator. “I hope you know you aren’t getting this back!”

* * *

Baby arrived at the warehouse a bit early with coffees, even though she usually only got them after a job her energy had crashed earlier than usual. She had on comfy navy sweats and a bright yellow hoodie to ditch after the switch, with her normal hoodie under it. Bright blue sunglasses perched on her nose. Private Eyes blasted through her headphones as she slammed down a coffee cup in front of Griff and Doc. The other two hadn’t gotten there yet. 

Phoenix got there 10 minutes later, and Baby had to help secure the wig around her head so it looked more realistic. Darling showed up a few minutes after Phoenix went to change, already having changed in the elevator up. Electric blue lipstick decorated her lips, and makeup wipes were popping out of her purse, ready to go for the switch. Her hair was in a messy bun that looked perfect somehow, Baby was pretty sure half of her hair had already escaped her lazy attempt of a low ponytail. 

Baby went to wave hello before violently sneezing, nearly kneeing herself in the face from her chair. 

“Well achoo to you too Baby.” Darling laughed, Phoenix finally came out of the bathroom, and Griff got up from his chair. Baby wiped her nose on the sleeve as they all clambered into the elevator. Baby had already switched the plates of the car that she had ‘borrowed’, clambering into the front seat.

* * *

Baby heard a non-shotgun shot go off in the bank, and looked out the window, pausing Toxic. All three of her crew came out of the bank with the money, jumping into the car. Baby floored it and put the music back on, the car flew forward, directly through a red light, just managing to avoid a blue SUV. Her hair tie finally popped off as the car swerved around the corner, Baby still didn’t hear any sirens yet. Weird.

Darling and Phoenix were in the back, Darling having her arm wrapped up with an old pink scarf she shoved in her purse. 

“Darling just got clipped on the bicep, she’s fine,” Phoenix said as Darling hissed. Baby finally heard a siren coming from the left side, and quickly slid backwards down a side street on her right, flipping around and slinging into traffic on the other street. The siren got quieter as the cop car went down the other street. 

“Why does this feel easier than it should be?” Griff asked, switching on the news radio. Apparently, some group of other crooks had decided to rob a jewelry store about five minutes before they even got to the bank. “Huh.” They were pulling into the parking garage for the switch before news of the bank robbery was even announced. 

Baby helped Darling pull on her other shirt over her head, pulling off her own yellow hoodie and chucking it on the floor of the car. Griff got in the back with Darling, and Baby hopped into the passenger seat, helping to pull Phoenix’s wig off. By the time they were out of the parking garage Darling had already wiped off her blue lipstick. They stopped at the stop light, watching as a beat up red car flew through the intersection, cop cars directly on their tails.

“Man it’s weird being on the other side,” Griff mumbled from the back. Baby put her hair back up, although a few shorter strands immediately fell back down into her face. They suddenly heard a loud crash from down the street. 

“Sucks for them, that’s what they get for not having a Baby,” Darling cheered from the back. Baby tried to not smile at the rare compliment and failed.

* * *

Baby ended up getting sodas and burgers for the group since she already got the coffee earlier, and by the time she got back to the hideout, the others had pulled out a large clunky crt tv. 

“Get over here we paused it for you!” Darling cheered as Phoenix finished stitching up her arm. 

“Paused what?” Baby handed the food boxes out.

“Footage of the other chase!” Griff hit play on the footage. Baby almost burst out laughing as the car immediately backed into a traffic light pole, getting stuck for a moment before finally going forward, barely hitting 60 when the first cop car pulled up behind them. They tried drifting as they turned right, only to bump into an old Cadillac on the other side of the road. 

“This is sad to watch…” Phoenix mumbled from the right. Baby’s face was uncharacteristically emotive, mouth gaping open watching the shit-show unfold before them. They side swiped three more cars before even somehow nearly taking out someone on a motorcycle. 

Darling pointed at the screen, “Hey that’s us!” Baby could see their car stopped at the intersection. They watched as the other car swerved dangerously, trying to make a sharp corner, instead slamming sideways into an apartment building, shattering all the cars windows. It got even better as the three-man group tried running down the street. One was immediately tackled down by officers, another tripped over a large crack in the sidewalk. The last man tried jumping over a fire hydrant, catching his left foot on the top. As he slammed into the ground face first all four audibly hissed. 

“Those poor dumb bastards.” Griff took a long sip of coke. 

“I drove better than that at eight…” Baby mumbled. 

“Yeah, right…” Griff got up to grab a burger. 

Phoenix raised her hand slightly above his belly button, “That’s how tall she was when I did my first job with her.”

“You’re shitting me.” 

“I’m not.” Phoenix took a sip of her sprite.

“She was a very cute, and very angry child.” Darling agreed. Baby gave Griff a dangerous grin, snorting when he visibly moved back. 

“If you three are done laughing at the amateur criminals, the money’s split,” Doc said from across the room. 

“Yeah okay one sec doc,” Darling said, rewinding the footage just so they could watch the criminal face plant again. “He had to have lost a tooth or something.”

“Broke his nose.” Phoenix added.

“God it’s painful to watch,” Baby agreed taking another sip of her root beer.

“…Wanna watch it again?” Darling asked.

“Oh, _hell yeah_.”


	5. The one where Joe doesn't approve.

_“BABY!”_

Baby woke up upside-down, his ears ringing, and sunglasses barely hanging off his ears. Darling was looking at him through his shattered window. 

“Baby come on we gotta run,” She cleared the remaining shards of glass from the edges of the door window. Baby unclipped his seatbelt, flipping around so he landed on his back. Darling helped him pull himself out of the car. Baby could see the police struggling to run down the very steep hill that their car had gone down. Buddy grabbed Darlings hand, tossing Baby Heaven’s duffle bag. 

“Heaven bolted before the rest of us got out!” Buddy shouted from the front. Occasionally an officer shot at them, but most of them were more concerned to getting to flat ground. Baby spotted a purple suited body ahead, suit jacket covered in blood, Heaven’s white hair poking out of the top of his suit collar, “I guess Doc’s not gonna have to deal with him later…” 

Baby spotted a dirt path ahead, leading back down to the main city. He pointed over Buddy’s shoulder to point it out and the trio took off running, Buddy swearing as a bullet clipped the back of his thigh.

Soon enough they were in a side alley, ditching the purple suit jackets. Darling took Baby’s hoodie and Buddy took his sunglasses. They were too far from the safe house to make it by foot, and Baby couldn’t see any decent manual cars parked on the street, it was nearly 8 and rush hour was already over, no traffic jams to steal a car from. Baby knew his apartment was around the corner, and he trusted Buddy and Darling enough to not do anything dumb. But Joe barely approved of his job, and probably only hadn’t slapped Baby over the head yet because Baby usually danced away before he could. He reasoned they would just be in and out to patch up Buddy and find different non-purple pants to switch into. All this thinking was giving Baby a worse headache then he already had. 

Baby took down the street towards his apartment, speed walking but not running. Buddy and Darling shrugged and followed after him. The stairs were a bitch for Buddy, the elevator had been out for nearly three weeks already, and it still hadn’t been fixed despite the apartment having a disabled member. 

“Baby this your place?” Darling asked, trying not to look at the rat running down the hall. 

“Yup… be prepared for some really disappointed glaring though,” Baby mumbled, unlocking his door. Joe was sitting in front of the TV, watching the news like usual, he gave Baby the glare as soon as he walked in. Baby started explaining what was going on with sign as Buddy and Darling stumbled in. Joe actually managed to give them both an angry and a disappointed glare simultaneously. Buddy watched the signed argument while Darling walked over to Baby’s stolen iPod stash. 

“Joe wants both of you to know that he’s very disappointed with your criminal activities,” Baby said resignedly, walking into the kitchen for the first aid kit. Buddy tried not to laugh since Joe was still glaring at him. “He also says you better not get blood anywhere, and he’s not afraid to run you over with his wheelchair.” Baby disappeared into his room trying to find pants. 

Buddy cut his pant leg off to patch up the thick graze on the back of his leg, cleaning it up and wrapping it with gauze. He would probably just rip the stitches before they got to the safe house anyway. 

“39,” Darling counted. 

“39 what?” Buddy tied the gauze off with safety pins. 

“39 iPods, not including however many he has on him right now… haven’t counted the sunglasses yet though.” Baby walked out of his room with a pair of old skinny jeans and a pair of super baggy sweatpants. Two old backpacks and a tote bag that Debbie kept forgetting in his other arm. Buddy and Darling started changing in the middle of the living room while Baby switched the money bags into the new bags, swiping a pair of red sunglasses and a purple shuffle. He shoved the discarded pants into the garbage before signing with Joe again. Darling picked up a pair of pink rimmed sunglasses and took her hair down. 

Before they left Joe signed something else to Baby. Baby just nodded before shutting the door and locking it behind him.

“What’d he say before we left?” Darling asked, pushing open the stairwell door. 

“I’m not allowed to have friends over anymore.” Darling laughed.

* * *

They made it to the switch car in about 20 minutes, mostly by traveling through alleys and side streets. Baby and Darling sat in the front seat while Buddy stretched out in the back. 

Doc was waiting for them in the safe house parking lot when they arrived, Buddy had already fallen asleep in the back. 

“If you took any longer I was going to call. I’m going to assume Heaven renegaded?” 

“He was gone before we even got Baby out of the car, we got his cash though,” Darling said, shaking Buddy awake. 

“Remind me to not get any more clients from Jersey,” Doc grumbled as they walked back to the elevator, Buddy leaning into the elevator wall.

Baby was the first one to take off after the cash was split up, stating that he had to go get dinner for Joe. Doc quirked an eyebrow at the mention but said nothing until the elevator doors shut. 

“Who was the old guy anyway?” Buddy asked.

“I liked him, can’t believe he made Baby tell us off for him though,” Darling said, laughing quietly. 

“Joe was Baby’s caretaker for a time, now it’s more the other way around. If you didn’t notice he doesn’t exactly approve of Baby’s extra job. I trust you two won’t mention him to any of my… less savory clients.” Doc watched them both nod before he went to clean off the chalk board. 

“He had 63 pairs of sunglasses, not including the two that we took.” Darling mentioned, Buddy cracked a smile. “He loses about six pairs when Griff comes around though… so technically it probably only lasts like… 10 Griff jobs.” 

“Well when you put it like that I guess it makes sense.” Buddy wrapped his arm around Darling, grabbing both of their bags, and walking into the elevator.

* * *

Buddy and Darling didn’t meet Joe again until a coincidental run in at the grocery store. Baby had hung a grocery basket over the back of Joe’s wheelchair rather than getting one of the special mechanical ones. Baby hadn’t noticed them yet, still ordering meat at the deli counter. Joe however had seen them peeking out of the cereal aisle, and had promptly started glaring at them, pointing at his eyes before pointing at them. They didn’t need to know sign to know what he was saying. 

“Baby not have a violent bone in his body, but Joe would kick our asses if he could,” Darling said, laughing quietly. They waited for Baby to get the food before he started pushing Joe away, only looking over his shoulder when he caught Joe doing it. They ducked back behind the shelves, watching him look around confusedly before walking away. 

They didn’t see the pair again until they were loading their own groceries into the back of their car. Baby didn’t seem like he was looking for a car, and instead just kept walking down the parking lot, keeping an eye out for cars pulling out. 

“You’re telling me the best getaway driver in Atlanta doesn’t even own a car?” Buddy asked, Darling shrugged, slamming the trunk shut. 

“Why buy one? He probably just steals ‘em when the old man’s not around,” Darling answered, “besides he drives a lot every week for Doc, he probably likes walking every once and a while.”  
“What do you think the old man’d do if we offered a ride?” Buddy asked, Darling laughed. 

“He’d probably grab one of the grocery bags and throw it at us.” They watched Baby and Joe disappear down the street. 

“I don’t want to know what would happen if he met Bats…”

“It’d be a showdown for the ages.” Darling agreed, laughing at the image of Joe throwing his wheelchair at the crazy gun-toting criminal.


	6. The one where Buddy and Darling get stuck Baby-sitting.

Buddy was out of the car before any of the others after the car got rear-ended into the brick wall. He took out the dazed cops behind them quickly. Griff stumbled out of the car with the loot, and Bats was dragging Baby out of the driver’s seat, who was very much out of it. 

The cops were on their tail a lot faster than usual, even hearing the sirens before getting in the car. Baby managed to lose the first two cars, but the younger cops behind them hadn’t slowed down enough before the turn, smashing into their car as it drifted around the corner. 

Bats only had a few scratches on his face from broken glass and the other two just had a bit of whiplash. Baby however had a large knot growing on his forehead, and his sunglasses had broken at the bridge of his nose, gouging slightly into the skin. He seemed just aware enough to stumble around. Griff had already smashed out a window of a car just down the street. 

“Who’s the better driver here?” He shouted quickly swiping glass off the driver’s seat. Buddy ran in and hopped into the front seat, quickly hot wiring the car. Bats and Baby stumbled into the back as the car started, Griff slamming his door shut as they took off. They didn’t hear any sirens at the moment, but that could change quickly. Bats worked on getting Baby’s sunglasses off. 

“Hey, hey no sleeping!” Bats snapped his fingers in front of Baby’s face, Baby didn’t make any indication of having heard it, but he shifted slightly. Bats finally got the sunglasses off, and the gashes on Baby’s nose started bleeding freely. “You got any napkins up there?” 

Griff searched through the glove compartment before finally pulling out some crumpled up Starbucks napkins, passing them back. Baby whined as Bats pinched the bridge of his nose to soak up the blood. A cop flew by, luckily ignoring them as they flew to the scene of the crash. Griff’s buzzer phone buzzed, and he quickly set it on speaker phone.

_“The nest has been found, you’re going to have to fly back south for the winter.”_

“Doc wait wait, where the hell can we find the medi-“ Griff swore as the line went dead. 

“What was that?” Bats asked.

“The safe house ain’t safe anymore, Doc’s booking it, he wants us to lay low.” Bats took a moment to process it. 

“Wait, what the hell do we do with the kid?” Bats shouted annoyed, Baby winced at the loud noise. 

“Well does anybody know where he lives?” Griff was met with silence, “Great… Well I’m not taking him.” Bats immediately slammed his finger to his nose.

“Fine, we have a couch anyway…” Buddy mumbled, pulling the car into the parking garage. “One of you is going to have to steal another car, the safe house garage is probably compromised too.” Bats hopped out of the car at the second level with his loot, spotting a car he liked. Griff offered to take the car they were already in, leaving Buddy to get Baby into the passenger’s side of the switch vehicle. Buddy chucked his loot in the back before buckling up Baby and then himself. 

Baby was humming nonsense to himself as Buddy pulled out his phone to call Darling. 

_“Hey babe, you okay? Doc called.”_

“Yeah I’m fine, I’ve got the kid with me though, we didn’t know where to bring him and he hit his head pretty hard,” Baby was bobbing his head to imaginary music, Bats had ditched the headphones when he pulled him out, “Can you check online whether the kid can sleep or not?” 

_“Uh yeah just a sec-“_ Buddy heard keyboard clicks, _“It says if he can hold a conversation then yes… I’ll get the couch ready.”_

“See you in a few.” Buddy turned off the phone. “Hey Baby how you feeling?” 

He took a moment to respond, “Tired… My head hurts.” Buddy figured that counted since he didn’t say anything irrelevant like ‘Cheese’. 

“Just wait a few minutes Baby.” He nodded, pulling up the hood of his hoodie to block out light from opposing headlights. Baby looked younger without large plastic frames blocking his face. “Hey Baby, how old are you?” 

“Why?” 

“If we get pulled over I might have to know,” Buddy reasoned, hoping Baby’s brain wouldn’t find anything wrong with that. 

“21… It’s still June right?” 

“Yup.” 

“Yeah then 21…” The rest of the car ride was quiet. Buddy parked the car on the side of the road, not really caring whether it got towed or not. Baby was a bit steadier on his feet then earlier, but Buddy still kept a tight grip on his shoulder just in case. When Buddy unlocked the door Darling was standing nearby, and gave him a quick peck on the lips before turning her attention to Baby.

“That’s a nasty bruise you got there kid, what happened to uh-“ she gestured to her nose. 

“His sunglasses smashed.” Darling hissed. 

“I’ll get Neosporin for that.” She walked off to the bathroom, and Baby managed to kick his shoes off at the front door without falling over. He scrunched his nose up when Darling went to put the ointment on, and she couldn’t help laughing. “Okay big boy you can sleep on the couch on the left.” Baby stood there for a second before walking to the couch, flopping over facing the back cushions. 

“’S a nice couch…” Baby mumbled, promptly falling asleep.

“So, what happened?” Darling asked, sitting down in one of the recliners. 

“Think Doc’s source for the job sold us out, got rear-ended by some newer cops. Think the safe-house was sold out too. The airbags were disabled in our getaway car and Baby hit his head pretty hard on the steering wheel.” Buddy grabbed a beer out of the fridge. 

“Doc get out?” 

“I dunno, he managed to call us so I’m assuming. Might be a week or two before everything’s set up again though.” Darling hummed in response. 

“Guess getting married a fourth time is out of the question till then huh…” Buddy laughed.

* * *

It was late the next morning when Baby finally woke up on his own, not counting the few times Darling had woken him up to check on him. He groggily tried rolling over, only for his legs to go right off the side of the couch. He barely caught himself on the arm rest, wincing at the sunlight. Darling giggled at him from the kitchen counter. 

The bruise on his forehead covered the area around his brow and the bridge of his nose. It looked less like he’d hit his head and more like someone had gone after him with a can of purple spray paint. Baby tried leaning back to see her but quickly sat up, realizing it just made his headache worse. 

“You remember how you got here?” Darling asked. Baby remembered sitting in the car with Buddy and Bats shoving napkins in his face. 

“Enough of it… what happened after the crash?” 

“The source snitched, and the safe-house got compromised. Doc hung up before they could ask anything, so Buddy just brought you here…” 

Baby’s ears were ringing but his headphones weren’t anywhere in sight. He pulled himself up off the couch before walking to the kitchen, sitting on a stool next to Darling. It was weird not seeing her in an extravagant outfit. Her hair was messy and her tattoos were all showing, rather than hidden by coats or scarves. 

The rest of the apartment was silent, the windows were open to let some breeze in, but other than that there was nothing. Darling noticed Baby looking around. “Buddy went to get breakfast…”

“Forgot about breakfast,” Baby said absentmindedly, Darling looked at him concerned, but he didn’t notice. 

“When you go home later just promise me you’ll go to a walk-in clinic or something…” Darling said, trying not to sound too naggy or motherly. Baby hummed and nodded. “And probably don’t listen to loud music… just quiet stuff.” He scrunched his nose and pouted before tucking his head into his arms. 

They both dozed there quietly, Darling taking slow sips of coffee while Baby listened to the wind, tapping his fingers to a beat he remembered but couldn’t name.

* * *

Buddy eventually walked back through the front door bearing food, speed walking to the window facing the fire escape and hurtling it open. A minute later they heard clanging and eventually a leather jacketed figure clambered in, rolling over the window sill and landing on the floor.

“Sup bitches,” Griff waved. 

“Is Bats coming too?” Darling grumbled into the lip of her mug. 

“I don’t think any of us would trust Bats with where we live,” Buddy said, everyone nodding silently in agreement. 

“Man Baby, you look like shit, or shittier than usual anyway. No wonder you wear sunglasses all the time.” Darling slapped Griff a bit too hard to be friendly, and Griff rose his hands defensively. “Alright I’ll stop bugging your kid.” 

Buddy handed out plain bagels before grabbing butter and cream cheese from the fridge. Baby just started slowly gnawing at the bagel the second it landed in his hand. Everyone looked at him weirdly but otherwise focused on their own food. 

“Doc call you again yet?” Buddy asked. 

“Nope, I’m guessing we won’t get another call until Doc finds and secures a new place... And I doubt he wants us calling him either.” Griff spread the butter to the edges of his bagel, Baby laughed quietly and did something weird with his hands. “So basically, we gotta decide on what to do with the money, and then what to do with the kid…” 

“I doubt Bats is gonna wait for Doc to be back to get to use his money. If we both spend ours too it’ll just be a whatever. If neither of us spend ours then that makes Bats look bad, but then again he’s already a crazy douchebag.” 

“Plus, he still keeps looking at me funny…” Darling said annoyed.

“And then we either gotta get the kid home or to a hospital, but his face has been all over the news from the last job, and the crash was on the news from last night too,” Griff added.

“He’s not that brain damaged… he just kinda forgot breakfast existed for a second…” Darling winced at herself while talking. Everyone turned silently to look at Baby who was characteristically silent as he ate his bagel. 

“…Anyway unless Doc calls us or the kid decides to tell us where he’s supposed to be we’re stuck with him…” 

“You mean we’re-“ Buddy gestured to himself and Darling “- stuck with him.”

“Eh same difference. Hey kid you got a driver’s license?” Baby looked at him like it was a stupid question.

“I don’t own a car, why would I have a driver’s license?” 

“Because you drive a car at least twice a week on the job,” Griff seemed confused, and Baby seemed more confused.

“It’s not exactly like I’m gonna pull over the car during a heist…” 

“What about drinking, you need an ID for that,” Griff asked, Darling nodded in agreement. 

“I don’t drink…” Baby went back to eating his bagel after that. 

“Well then... Anyway, are we making Bats look bad or not? Cuz I have enough money from the last gig to hold me over for a bit.” 

“We’re good for another few weeks… ‘sides I’d feel bad if Baby didn’t get nothin,” Darling answered taking another sip of coffee.

“Down with Bats then, cool.” Griff wrapped the rest of his bagel up with a napkin shoving it in his pocket. He went back to the window where he climbed in. 

“If you don’t see me again it mea-“

“Yeah, we get it, you’re dead, get out of here.” Buddy said half annoyed, half amused. 

“You’re killing me smalls.” Griff disappeared and Buddy shut the window, locking the pane in place.

* * *

Eventually Baby gave them the name of a diner where a friend supposedly worked. They supposed it was likely the best answer they were gonna get out of him, so Buddy called a cab to take them all down, despite Baby’s complaints that he was ‘fine’. 

When they walked into the diner no one ran over although one of the waitresses was eyeing Baby concernedly. They left him on the barstool before walking out, watching as the waitress almost immediately ran over, fussing over him and smoothing his hair back to take a better look at his face. 

“D’aw, Baby got himself a girlfriend,” Darling swooned clapping her hands lightly. 

“Everybody needs somebody…” Buddy agreed. 

“Well… ready to go _Jason_?” Darling asked, holding out her arm. 

“You bet’cha _Monica_.” Buddy replied, wrapping their arms back together and getting back in the taxi.

* * *

Baby didn’t properly remember most of his visit with Darling and Baby, but after a week and a half his head felt mostly fine and Doc had called most of his clients with a new location before giving them a meeting time and instructions to dispose of their burner phones. 

The new safe house was fairly similar to the old one, the room was still concrete and everything was set up mostly the same, other than Baby’s desk was a bit closer to the main table, and there was no elevator, instead an annoying pair of winding stairs up to the main floor of the mostly abandoned building, with the exception of a yoga studio up on the third floor. Apparently, Doc wasn’t worried about a bunch of soccer moms doing a light workout. 

“It wasn’t the guy with the nasal problem who sold us out, was it?” Phoenix asked from her spot at the table. 

“Please, he’s been working with us for years, he deserves more respect than that.” Griff argued.

“No I’ve taken care of it. Baby there’s a silver Mercedes in front that I’m going to need you to sunset.” Doc said, clearly ending the snitch discussion. Doc threw a pair of keys at Baby before going to discuss who’s partnering with who over the next following weeks. 

Baby never liked sunsetting the cars, and he couldn’t blast his music to cover up the metal crunching sound, at least not for another week. Instead quiet jazz did it’s best to block out whatever it could. Baby didn’t particularly care who the snitch was, and he wasn’t counting heads at the meeting either. It made sense that a few people wouldn’t show up after their operation was nearly blown. But Baby would never know that Bats had shown up early and had disappeared, or that there was more than one body in the trunk of that car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've personally never had a concussion before, but a lot of football players at my school have, one of which I somewhat paraphrased, he literally said "Man, I forgot we had lunch today," and noone around him seemed to realize what he had said. It's the one thing I've remembered over the past three years, and I will remember it until the day I die.


	7. The one where Baby really needs a nap.

Baby hadn’t been sleeping well the past week. The ringing in his ears seemed worse lately, but when he tried to fall asleep with his headphones in his brain tried too hard to cling to the words. The Jazz songs were too varying in volume and the classical tracks were the only ones that seemed to help, but the red iPod shuffle with them had a bad battery, and only seemed to last for an hour. Whenever the music shut off he woke up almost immediately. The electrical plugs in his room didn’t work either after the last time their fuse busted. 

Naturally Doc had perfectly timed a heist with Bats, Heaven, and Phoenix. Even if Phoenix had warmed up to him slightly over the years the other two were newer and still seemed to dislike him. Heaven for being too quiet, and Bats for his music. It was a bigger heist than usual, so much so that Doc had sent his nephew to wreck the wires for the alarm system the day before by ‘accidently’ tripping on them to tear the wires open, and pouring soda on them to short them out completely. Nobody seemed to notice after he began fake crying, but it was a step more complicated than they usually took. 

Not to mention that this one had two switch cars instead of the normal one. Phoenix herself had a neon green wig for the job, and Heaven himself had dyed his hair from its usual blinding white back to its original dark brown. Baby himself had an actual costume change for once, rather than just taking off his hoodie or shades. 

The getaway drive would be a lot harder and faster, but the payoff was easily worth three times more than usual. While the team seemed dysfunctional, except for Baby they all had fast trigger fingers, which while it would make the job a bit messier overall, it made for a slightly easier getaway, but a larger cool down time. 

Lately the cops seemed so aggravated at their inability to stop the never-ending heists that they seemed to use their guns more than their brains. There were a lot more injuries, on their side, the cops side, and even the civilian side, as the getaways got more and more heated. There were rumors that Doc was even considering shutting down for a while or switching cities. Baby wondered if Doc would force him to come along if he did. 

Baby parked slightly further up the street then he usually did, ready to back-up to the bank’s entrance at a second’s notice. The second he saw green hair coming back out of the vault he hit play on Ms. Hilton before slamming the car backwards, making sure no one was behind him. Phoenix and Bats hopped in the back with Heaven in the passenger’s seat. They took off down the street as the chimes ended, Baby was counting the seconds, imagining how long it would take someone from the bank to physically call the police and report the robbery. They were five blocks away from the switch when the police sirens queued in, lights flashing behind them. 

Baby’s eyes burned at the flashing lights, and his lids felt like led as he slammed the car sideways, darting into the side street. The cop wasn’t fast enough and they heard a crash as it slammed into a civilian vehicle. His brain pounded along to the music, which was slightly concerning. Another car came from ahead, slamming to a stop before they opened fire on the vehicle. Baby ducked down, shielding his ears with his shoulders as much as he could as his own team opened fire, shooting out their respective windows. A bullet went through the windshield and straight through the back window. 

“I’M TURNING!” Baby learned last time that turning while crew members were hanging out of windows was generally a bad idea. They quickly climbed back inside as the car flew across into the other lane, darting through an alley. Baby’s ears were burning from the gunshots and sirens, and the sunglasses weren’t doing much for the flashing red and blue lights. They almost immediately had to spin around to go in the other direction to avoid a cop car coming from the opposite direction. They sped up trying to hit their car off the road but Baby pushed the gas harder, switching gears and taking off. Bats had turned around in his seat, shooting at the cop car through the now existing hole in the back windshield, hitting both front tires, causing them to swerve to a stop. 

Baby turned into somewhat heavy traffic as he heard the whir of a helicopter above. The car was meant to blend in but he wasn’t sure if the risk was worth it. He took a moment to catch his breath slightly, watching the helicopter go slightly ahead. As soon as they were slightly down the block Baby floored it down a side street, quickly retreating the other way, back towards the switch. 

He quickly rubbed his eyes for the 15th time that day, nearly jumping out of his skin as he saw red and blue lights out of his left eye, heading straight towards their car. Baby waited for the last second before flooring it forward. They heard a large creak of metal on brick as the car slammed into the wall behind them. 

“Jesus Christ they were gonna kill us!” Heaven shouted, trying to get out of the car. Baby went faster so he couldn’t.

“What you didn’t get that impression from the guns?” Bats swore, opening fire at another cop car coming from the same way as the other one had. 

“Yeah but they were going what, 60, 70?” Heaven sounded scared, and Baby probably would be if he weren’t focused on driving and breathing. He never realized how much harder breathing got when sleep deprived. The once subconscious movement now took some thought to accomplish. 

Baby swerved around another cop as the front of their vehicle suddenly jutted out from a side street, quickly following them along with the other car. Bats kept firing behind them, with Phoenix looking out for any more hidden cops. Heaven finally took the courage to start shooting out the back window, although so did the other cops. Baby and Phoenix ducked low in their seats as bullets started smashing through the back window. Bats and Heaven were crouched low in their seats, still shooting. 

Bats finally got a headshot on one of the drivers, and the car suddenly slowed down, causing the other cop to ram his car into theirs, sending the first car rolling and totaling the second car. The cops from the other car took a couple last shots at them before finally going to help the other officers. 

“It’s never been this bad, not in the 12 years I’ve done this…” Phoenix muttered from the front seat. Baby couldn’t make out what she said, he was too focused on staying awake and driving as hard as he could, but the others nodded in agreement. The switch was in view when another cop car barreled out from the right, heading straight for them. Phoenix tried shooting the driver but everyone in the car ducked. She worked on hitting the tires instead, Baby realized that without the other driver looking, the car started veering closer to the edge of the road. 

“Keep shooting at the cops not the car!” Baby shouted, surprising almost everyone in the car.

“What?!”

“Just do it!” The rain of gunfire continued right as the cops almost started rising in their seats. The car veered more and Baby turned towards the switch, nailing the cop car with the very end of their own, wincing at the noise as the cop car smashed into another car coming from a side street, that didn’t see the police car driving the wrong way.  
Baby floored it into the switch parking lot, slamming on the breaks and jumping out of the car, quickly pulling off the long sleeved yellow shirt and sunglasses. Everyone quickly split up into two groups, speed changing and running to their cars at the same time.

Baby pulled off Phoenix’s green wig for her, quickly balling it up with their other clothes. Phoenix drove fast, but not criminally, towards the garage exit. Baby put down the window, chucking the ball of discarded clothing into the open bed of a pickup truck. Bats and Heaven went the other way, going up to the top story of the garage and waiting a minute before coming back down. Baby shut his window and slid far down into his seat as they exited the garage. One of the policemen nearly opened fire, but stopped once he saw just one woman in a completely different car. He shook his head before going back to sort out the confusion at the accident.

Phoenix drove in silence for a minute before looking down at Baby, who was still mostly on the floor of their car. “Uh… having fun down there?” 

“Yup…” Baby was quiet, trying to find something somewhat calming to listen to on his heist iPod, clearly not having any luck. It was darker lower in the seat too, which was nice.  
“Nice eyebags by the way,” She said off-handedly, stopping at the stop light, trying to keep a straight face as cops flew down the road. 

“Thanks, I ordered them off Amazon… According to Darling purple is all the rage…” Baby gave up on the iPod, pulling out his earbuds and sliding back up into his seat, trying to ignore the ringing in his ears until he could find a decent radio station. To his luck everything was too loud, too bassey, or static. He turned the radio off, sliding slightly down in his seat, fiddling with the controls on the side. 

“The heist keep you up last night?”

“No just… brain won’t shut up with music on, and it won’t stop ringing with it off… and the longer it goes on the worse it gets,” Baby mumbled. He didn’t normally complain in front of the big scary criminals, but he was too tired to care. 

“You try using a fan?” Baby was surprised he got an actual response.

“What?”

“My cousin moved to New York a little while ago, couldn’t sleep with all the traffic noise. She got one of those big ass tower fans in her room and now she can sleep… Course now she can’t sleep without a fan on, but hey, better than nothing…” 

Baby thought it over for a moment, “I don’t have a plug in my room though…” Phoenix seemed confused.

“What room doesn’t have a plug in it, do you live in the 1800’s?”

“I have one it’s just shorted out or something…” Baby sank lower in his seat. 

“Well after this job you can probably afford to get it fixed,” Phoenix laughed slightly, it reminded him of wind-chimes, quiet, quick, but still nice. 

Nobody knew that he told Doc to put his money in the bank under some random account. If he ever went to college the money would be there for him, but Joe still got upset looking at the small stash of cash under the floor boards. Baby couldn’t stand to see the look on his face if he walked in with a duffle bag of cash. It wasn’t something that could be shoved in the floor and forgotten about. He did have the cash to get that plug fixed though, he’d just have to do it while Joe was at one of his doctor’s appointments. At least then if the fan idea didn’t work out he could at least keep the red shuffle charged while he slept. 

“Shit…” Baby looked up, there was a cop ahead, slowing down cars to look at the passengers before waving them on. They’d both changed clothes and Phoenix lost the neon green wig, not to mention they had two passengers instead of four. Baby subconsciously tucked the iPod and headphones under his thigh, leaning back and playing with his hair so it flattened against his forehead. 

The officer shone his small flashlight into the car, hovering over their faces before looking through the back windows to make sure no one else was in the car with them. The flashlight shone over their faces again for a moment, and Baby winced at the sharp light. After a bit more staring, he finally waved them on down the street. Baby started breathing again. 

“That’s new…” Phoenix grumbled. The rest of the drive was quiet, and Baby nearly passed out before they pulled into the parking garage connected to the safe house. Bats and Heaven were taking a longer route, just to avoid suspicion. Baby was mostly dead on his feet walking to the elevator, and Phoenix had the money bags over her shoulder. The quiet elevator music helped soothe Baby’s nerves somewhat, but the ride was quick and the music ended too soon. 

Doc was sitting at the table reading the newspaper, “How’d it go?”

“The cops are going fucking nuts out there Doc, one of em tried to hit us from the side going at least 60, and they’re firing in the middle of traffic now,” Phoenix collapsed into a chair, dropping the money on the counter. 

“Anyone get shot?”

“Not that I know of…”

“Baby?”

“I’m good, just tired…” Baby shuffled around his desk, checking to see if he had any iPods stashed there. The green nano poked out under an empty coffee cup. It had mostly techno songs, but it was better than rock right now. He pulled back out the yellow rimmed shades, putting them on. 

Bats and Heaven walked in half an hour later, Phoenix was removing the remaining wig glue off her forehead and Baby was as close to sleeping as he was likely going to get. Doc had finished sorting through Phoenix’s loot, and immediately started on the new bags. 

“What, no coffee?” Bats collapsed at the table. 

“Baby’s barely awake,” Phoenix answered. Bats strolled over to where Baby was sitting and pulled off his sunglasses, only to not get a response from Baby other than an annoyed nose crinkle. “Told you.”

“Nice eyeshadow Baby boy.” Bats slapped Baby on his shoulder before bouncing back to the table. Doc was separating the money into five even stacks. 

“So is it true you’re shutting down shop?” Heaven asked, kicking his feet up on the table.

“No, I’ll go once my clients consider the game here to be too dangerous. Although I have considered getting an alternate getaway driver,” Phoenix looked up at that. 

“Why?”

“If you haven’t noticed Baby’s been involved in every job I’ve done for the last decade, I’m starting to think they’re more after him than any of you.”

“And if that doesn’t work?” 

“Then we’ll keep going till business dries up and figure it out then. Baby I’d tell you to stay here tonight, but I doubt you’re awake enough to walk home anyway.” Baby gave a dull grunt in response. “I hope you three are smart enough to know that hanging around outside during the next few days is a suicide mission.” Doc slid the bags of money over, gesturing to the elevator. Bats slapped Baby’s shoulder on the way out and Phoenix gave him a light rub on the shoulder, before promptly slapping Bats. 

The elevator doors closed and Doc walked over to Baby, dragging him up, “If you sleep like that you’ll fuck up your back.” He walked Baby over into the cot room, watching as he collapsed with his shoes still on. 

“Call Joe, and tell him I’m not coming home tonight…” Doc quirked an eyebrow. 

“Yes Baby, I, your crime-lord boss, will call your _deaf_ foster father over the phone, and tell him you’re not coming home tonight.” 

“Good.” Baby clearly found nothing strange about what Doc had said, and went back to dozing off. 

Doc sighed, “Kids.” He took one last look before turning off the lights, and shutting the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As someone who has trouble sleeping a lot, having a fan on definitely helped me.  
> Also did some quick doodles of Phoenix, Heaven, and the old getaway driver before Baby, just in case any of you like visual aids. I figured making some extra clients would help me mix and match the jobs a bit more. 
> 
>  
> 
> [ The drawing ](https://68.media.tumblr.com/0750b7df09a4630aae1b3ee818771c8f/tumblr_oth18bVmnP1vmzx50o1_1280.png)


	8. The one where Lady-Baby hangs out with Sam.

Baby’s not sure how or when it happened. She stumbled out of bed to find Joe already awake, watching the morning news, or rather the bland nothing stories about new restaurants and ‘cheap’ gifts to buy for the holiday season. She turned on the record player and made breakfast for the pair, keeping an eye on the clock for when she had to get going to the safe house. 

She throws on a new thick grey hoodie to shield her from the cold, the red classical shuffle for the walk, and her loud blue pop-rock nano just in case. But when she reached for a pair of sunglasses, her hand just met the bottom of an empty container. She stood there dumbfounded for a moment, before turning and looking around, trying to find a loose pair anywhere. There was a broken pair under the desk that she had probably stepped on, a pair with cracked lenses from the last car flip, and the ones missing a lens from yesterday from when she tripped and nearly brained herself on a crosswalk post. 

Joe raised an eyebrow as she walked out without a signature pair, In the Hall of the Mountain King slowly got louder. The song was always good for getting the heartrate up. It was decently cold outside for Atlanta, a brisk 45o that made her breath faintly visible in the air. This weather was her favorite because everyone else completely disagreed on how cold it was. There were still some people out in t-shirts and some in shorts, while others had large puffy jackets and wool hats. 

The grey-white winter sky burned at her eyes, and she sped up her pace to the safehouse. She _has_ to have a pair there, Griff’s bitch-slapped at least 30 pairs over to the corner of the room at this point. Then again Doc did keep the place pretty clean… The song was clearly _not_ helping with anxiety levels. 

By the time she got to the safe house her hood had been scrunched up to cover her eyes as best as it could, and her heart was pounding in her chest. Darling, Phoenix, and Heaven sat at the table, looking clearly bored. Baby couldn’t see Doc anywhere. Baby went over to her table in the search of shades, watching as Darlings eyebrows peaked with amusement. She found a few smashed pairs from heists gone south, a few speckled with blood and dirt. 

“You run out of sunglasses?” Darling laughed from the main table. 

“Yeah…” Baby scanned the floor for anything possibly lying around. 

“Wait, you, you don’t ever not have sunglasses,” Darling sputtered.

“The world must be ending,” Phoenix agreed dryly, never looking up from her phone. Darling shuffled through her purse, and Heaven might have been sleeping with his eyes open based on the slow and steady rise of his chest and never changing expression. Baby switched on the nutcracker playlist, leaning back in her chair next to Darling. 

Phoenix suddenly interrupted the silence, “The plan meeting was definitely at eight, right?” 

“Yeah… I’m pretty sure daylight savings time already ended like, a month ago?” Darling asked, Baby nodded in confirmation. “Is Doc ever late?”

“Like once.” Baby wondered if she switched to something more upbeat, Doc would have to come out of the elevator. Or at least something interesting might happen. She switched iPods and turned on Can’t Stop, at the first beat Heaven leaned back too far and the chair toppled. Technically something interesting, but not what she was going for. Heaven cursed getting up off the floor, kicking the downed chair. Still no Doc. 

“Should we stay or is this some weird, silent message that something’s wrong?” Darling asked. Baby imagined conspiracy music playing. “Or is this a dream, cuz Doc not being here, and Baby not having sunglasses is some continuity error shit that would happen in a dream.”

“This is too boring for a dream.” Phoenix ran her fingers through her fiery hair. Baby’s never seen her roots and never seen the color fade. The color is clearer and more daring without tinted sunglasses changing it. She’s staring at the hair when suddenly there’s a brush in her face. 

“What?”

“Lemme do your makeup,” Darling leans over, Baby catches a glimpse of a makeup bag now spread out on the counter.

“Noooo.” Baby leaned away, scooting her chair with her so she didn’t fall over like Heaven had. 

“Come on, I’m bored,” Darling whined.

Naturally, Doc finally walked in, glaring at the two. Darling looked up at him from where she was leaning over Baby, brandishing her makeup brushes like knives. Baby noticed Doc’s nephew hiding in the shadows in the corner of the room, although no one else seemed to. His nephew put a finger over his lips, Baby shivered slightly.

“Car trouble. Now then-“ Baby focused on reading lips, bobbing her head to Bennie and the Jets, eyeing Darling out of the corner of her eye, prepared for the woman’s next sneak attack. 

Her eyes spot pictures of outfits in slightly varying shades of baby blue. Phoenix, Darling, and even Baby herself had white wigs on the counter. White bandannas and blue rimmed shades were pictured but not in the room yet, and Baby pouted. She was either gonna have to loot some cars or actually _buy_ some sunglasses. What was this world coming to?

“Any questions?” Nobody seemed to have any problems, and they all took off into the elevator. Baby refused to let Darling out of her eye-line until the elevator doors shut. 

“Hi Nephew.” Baby waved, leaning back over her seat. Doc’s nephew finally came out of the shadows. 

“I appreciate you not saying anything.” Doc wiped the chalk off the board, “I couldn’t find someone to watch him until tonight.” Nephew sat down at the end of the table, playing with the toy cars. Baby wasn’t gonna mention that she forgot the kid’s name from the last time. There was an awkward pause of silence. “I need you to watch him for an hour.”  
Baby groaned internally, feeling the groan exploding against the inner reaches of her soul. “Alright…” 

“You don’t have to stay down here, just be back by 9:30.” Doc patted his nephew on the head before disappearing into the elevator. Baby was somewhat curious about what Doc was doing, but her conscience decided it would rather not know. Baby look out her wallet, casually checking how much cash she had on her. The ID pocket was instead filled with Joe’s insurance card for when she took him to the doctor for his regular check-ups. She had 40 dollars in cash on her, she could remember a few tourist cart shops on the street that sold cheap neon frames. 

“C’mon kid, we’re going shopping.” Baby hopped out of her seat, Nephew groaned, but followed after her. “I’m getting sunglasses, you don’t have to watch me try on shoes for an hour.” He groaned slightly less. Baby pulled her hair up as best she could, since most of the photos the cops had of her had her hair down, whipping around with the car. They quickly ducked out of the building, rejoining normal sidewalk traffic. 

The first kiosk just had flat black sunglasses, Baby bought three pairs, keeping them all in the bag. It would be weird buying 20 pairs of sunglasses at one place, and it would be weird to buy sunglasses while wearing other sunglasses. 

The second one had had nicer metallic wired pairs with a bit more variety, so she got four pairs and casually mentioned a fake family vacation to Miami coming up.   
“Why are you buying so many?” 

Baby imagined a montage of Griff slapping the sunglasses off her face, and walking off with them, to the tune of I Will Survive. “…I’m clumsy.” Nephew scoffed. 

The last stand had frames in every shade of the rainbow, and naturally Baby got one of each. 

The kiosk worker looked at her funny chuckling, “What are you gay or something?” 

“Yeah.” The conversation quickly ended, and Baby paid for the sunglasses. 

“Pick a color,” Baby held out the sunglasses bag to Nephew. He quirked his eyebrow but grabbed a pair of green rimmed sunglasses. They were a bit big on his face but Baby caught a small grin. She put on a pair of round sunglasses with wire frames. Baby had 10 dollars left when she spotted the ice cream truck across the street.

* * *

Doc arrived back at the safe house to find Baby and his nephew both eating misshapen sponge-bob pops with their feet up on the table. Baby ignored the spot of blood she could see on his face. 

“Have fun?” Nephew nodded, Baby just stared at her lightly melting pop.

“This looks nothing like sponge-bob,” Baby mumbled before taking a large bite out of the popsicle’s head. Nephew stared as she ate the ice cream teeth first. 

“C’mon kid.” Doc slapped a fifty down on the table. Doc and Nephew took the elevator first, and the kid gave her a small wave just before the elevator closed. 

Baby shoved the bill in her wallet, switching iPods and putting classical back on. She spun around the room until it’d been long enough for the elevator to be empty before pressing the button, with her bag of new sunglasses in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sam was the name that Doc's nephew gave to the post office woman, but it might not be his actual name. Also thanks for all the kudos's and comments, and also feel free to suggest something you want to see. No relationship stuff at all and def no smut. Keeping this pretty gen other than violence, swearing, and the temporary deaths. 
> 
> Also it physically pained me to call 45 degrees Fahrenheit cold, since I'm from the north.


	9. The one where Baby can't stop running.

Baby hated running. His lungs and legs were burning, his sunglasses were fogging up, and his headphones threatened to disconnect at every step. 

The cops had shot out their back tires, and Baby let the car smash into the officer’s car before they had to leg it. Baby didn’t necessarily exercise, but he essentially walked everywhere other than the job. Darling was decently young and healthy, Bats had a lifetime of running from the cops, and Heaven could run fast when he was scared, which was strangely often considering their line of business. Baby had started out strong but slowly started dropping behind as the foot chase continued. But he had to be in front to get the next car ready as soon as they got enough distance. 

Baby pushed harder, ignoring his complaining lungs. He was just a few strides behind Bats when the cord finally untethered to the shuffle clamped to his hoodie pocket. Baby tried picking out a car that would work, at the moment he only needed something fast, but all he could spot were small, fuel-efficient cars and automatics. 

Baby heard a thud and then Darling’s harsh screams, an electric buzzing blended in with the ever-present ringing. Bats stopped in his tracks and fired at the officer kneeling over Darling, clipping him clean through the forehead. Heaven kept running with the money and Baby almost considered not stopping, but decided death by Buddy or Doc would be worse than getting tased by the cops. Bats kept the cops off Darling until she recovered enough to pull out her own gun. Truly a dedicated criminal if Baby had ever seen one.  
The other cops got either picked off or had been downed. Baby scooted around the back of inadequate cars before running to Darling, scooping her up, and running back towards Bats. Darling was a bit heavier than Joe, but his body was running purely off adrenaline at this point. Darling kept shooting at the cops over his shoulder, making sure the gun was far enough from his ears. 

Heaven had stopped running once he realized that nobody was chasing him anymore, and had proceeded to smash out the window of a slightly older but still a good model vehicle parked on the side of the road. Some old woman from the sidewalk started to yell at him until he pulled a gun on her. 

Baby picked up his pace as quick as he could, but Bats already ushered the old woman away, jumping in the back seat on the right side, kicking open the left door. Heaven got in the passenger seat and started hot-wiring the car. Baby felt a bullet whiz by his ear, and let Darling get a few more shots off before carefully tossing her in the back seat of the car, landing in his seat right after. He shut the doors by flooring the car forward, away from the cops.

“God tasers suck.” Darling hissed and rubbed the skin where the barbed wires had dug into her skin.

“Anybody get shot?” Baby asked. It became a pretty customary question over the last few months. Nobody said yes.

“Baby you’re stronger than I thought,” Darling commented. 

“It was just adrenaline,” Bats grumbled from next to her. Rather than bringing up his handicapped foster father, or making up some bullshit about eating five dozen eggs a day like a Disney villain, he decided that Bats’s explanation made the most sense. 

“I’m probably gonna sleep for seven years… You’re gonna have to get a different getaway driver,” Baby agreed. The car was filled with heavy breathing for a few minutes. Baby waited until they made it to the switch before finally plugging his headphones back in, listening to Sunday Morning. Darling climbed into the back seat next to him, stealing his right earbud. Darling sang right along with the song, and Baby quietly clicked on his cassette recorder. Bats glared at them through the mirror but Darling flipped him off.

* * *

Buddy ended up coming to pick up Darling at the safe house. Her muscles ached and she had a bruised knee from being tackled but was otherwise mostly fine. Bats and Heaven acted fine but most of Doc’s clients acted like they were fine when they were shot. Baby felt like he’d ran a marathon, but managed to tuck his bag into Doc’s trunk and slowly walk home. Baby had changed into some extra clothes that he’d stored at the safehouse, since their little venture on the streets hadn’t exactly gone unnoticed. Go figure.  
The Songs about Jane album hummed in his ears on the walk home, with just enough volume to keep him interested, but quiet enough that it didn’t spike his already escalated heart rate. It was around five so the streets were busy, which made blending in all the easier. Although he doubted the police would think that their cities most infamous getaway driver would casually walk down the sidewalks listening to Maroon 5. 

Joe was watching some dorky sitcom when Baby finally walked in, collapsing in the chair next to Joe, who pinched his nose and waved his hand back and forth over his nose. Baby pinched up his shirt, taking a whiff. 

‘Sorry, was running.’ Joe quirked an eyebrow. Baby flexed his barely existing muscles, pouting his lips ridiculously. Joe chuckled quietly before coughing. Baby stopped being ridiculous to rub Joe’s shoulders until the coughing fit stopped. ‘You okay?’

‘Fine.’ Baby quirked an eyebrow that time, before disappearing into the bathroom to take a quick shower. When he came back out Joe was coughing again, and he rushed to his bedroom to put clean clothes on.

Joe was still coughing and wheezing slightly, still signing that he was fine. 

“Bullshit and you know it.” Baby had to think for a second. The elevator was still out, and if he called an ambulance it would take some time for them to get up here, but it might up being faster overall since Baby himself didn’t own a car. Baby was also pretty sure calling 911 when you just committed a crime in the past three hours was not the best idea. Baby tucked his iPod and hoodie into Joe’s lap before slowly picking him up. Joe slapped him to protest but it was weak, and his coordination was off. Baby barely managed to grab his wallet with Joe’s insurance card before he was out the door, kicking it shut behind him, hoping that nobody would try and break in. 

Running and carrying someone simultaneously became a lot harder when stairs were involved. Luckily none of the other tenants were using them at the time, but he was still out of breath and his adrenaline was already kicking up for the second time that day. He kicked the stair doors open, nearly falling backwards as he did it. The doors to get outside were a bit easier, but the streets were still full of people from rush hour. 

Baby had the route to the hospital memorized, and began jogging down the street, getting yelled at as he dashed through people on the side walk. Whatever they were doing wasn’t that important but that didn’t stop people from being annoying anyway. Some older guy actually tried to grab his shoulder and tell him off, but Baby just kept jogging. Joe was still coughing and wheezing, shaking feebly. Baby felt his driver face come on as he started running again, completely blocking out everyone else on the sidewalk and even the ringing in his ears. 

He made it to the hospital in what could be considered record time. Luckily the nurse at the desk saw a young male running carrying an elderly man and made the correct assumption of calling a doctor. Soon there was a stretcher pushed in front of him and Joe was put down. The heavy weight of his foster dad was replaced with the light weight of his hoodie and music, and a clipboard that he had to fill out. The nurse mentioned a seating area but Baby just leaned on the counter off to the side, filling out paper work as his heart rate slowed. 

By the time the clipboard had been handed back with Joe’s insurance card clipped to the top Baby was exhausted. His tongue was dry and his body ached. His head was spinning as he turned on his music, finally collapsing on a hardly comfortable chair in the waiting room. 

His chest had stopped pounding when his burner phone went off. Baby wanted to scream, but deciding it was rude to everyone else, just flipped opened the phone. 

_“My fisherman-“_

“Yeah Doc whatever, just please tell me you don’t need me in the next hour.” The line went silent, “Doc?”

_“You said not to tell you.”_

Baby wanted to scream, and kick the wall, and then steal a car so he never had to run again. He wanted to rip off his legs and join Joe in wheelchair-land so he didn’t have to deal with any of this anymore. Rather than saying or doing any of those things, Baby just sighed. 

“On my way.”


	10. The one where Miles becomes Baby.

Miles was sitting at his normal booth at his mother’s diner, sipping at a milkshake and rubbing at his ears. The ringing hurt and wasn’t getting better. The doctor said it would fade, but it had been months and months and there was no change.

The quiet music in the diner helped somewhat, but not enough to stop it completely. It didn’t stop him from hearing the car slam to a stop outside, breaks squealing. The sound made his head subconsciously hurt. 

A tall dark-haired man walked in, followed by a greasy, blond-haired, twenty-something with a cigarette sticking out his mouth. Miles leaned back to see the car outside the window; It was a nice-looking car, with newer tires. It was manual like mom taught him how to drive those sunny days when dad wasn’t around. The two men who came from the car were arguing about something. Probably money, that’s what most adults argued about. 

Miles finished his milkshake, leaving exact change on the counter next to the empty glass. He waved goodbye to the woman at the counter, pushing the doors open to go outside. 

The car looked even nicer from outside, and Miles pushed his sunglasses up to get a better look at the color. It was a midnight blue color that glowed in the sunlight. He looked back to the diner, and the two men were still arguing. He ducked behind the side that wasn’t visible to them. He pulled his tools out of his back pocket before tinkering with the door lock. 

Momma might’ve taught him to drive, but Dad taught him how to hotwire a car. 

He’d never stolen a car right in front of its owners, but the look on the face of the blond man was something that he would remember a long time. He floored it back as the man dashed out of the restaurant. The dark-haired man gave him a strange look as he floored it forward out of the parking lot. The golden boy chased after him, eventually going too fast for his own feet and tripping, landing face down in the parking lot. Miles laughed as the man cursed at him. 

The car was faster than some of the others that he’d driven before. Miles was disappointed that there were no sunglasses anywhere in the car. Although he spotted a pile of discarded black coats on the floor of the back seat, weird. 

Eventually the excitement wore off, and the longer it went on, the more likely some police officer would see him driving a car. He ditched it near the police station, hopping out of the front seat and running, leaving the door wide open.

* * *

Joe was telling, or signing him off when he spotted something odd on the news. Joe turned to see what he was looking at. The car that he had stolen earlier was pictured on the TV, and some woman was talking about the bank robbery that had happened that morning. The last few years large heists had been taking place more and more often. Miles didn’t know what it had to do with the car until they showed another picture with the trunk open. Bags and bags of cash were stuffed in the back, upwards of five million dollars. He couldn’t believe he just left that car behind. 

Joe was still gesturing angrily. He caught most of it but his sign wasn’t that good yet, luckily Joe was somewhat decent at reading lips. “I’m sorry I snuck out again, but I just went to the diner.” Joe sighed after that. 

‘Tell me when you go.’ Miles caught enough.

“I will.” Joe gave him a tired smile. He got up off the couch with his cane, slowly walking to the bathroom. 

Miles went back to watching the TV.

* * *

He knew somewhere in the back of his mind that going back to the diner the same week wasn’t the smartest idea. He didn’t pretend to be surprised when the dark-haired man walked into the diner, sitting at the bench across from him. 

“Nice driving kid.” 

Miles just sipped at his milkshake. 

“I’m guessing you have a vague idea at who I might be from the news.” 

“Heist guy.”

“Not quite, I organize them and take my cut, yes. But I don't do them myself.”

Miles sipped again at his milkshake.

“Quiet kid, I like that. Now let’s cut to the chase, I know your name, and I know who you live with, and I know who your foster father is and I know he has health problems.”

_Siiiiipppppp_

“I know how to make you disappear, I know how to burn that building to the ground, and I know how to make someone’s death look like an unhealthy man just had a heart attack.”

_Siiiiipppppp_

“You owe me just over five mil little man.”

“Five million, one hundred and twenty thousand dollars.” Miles remembered seeing the number on the screen. The man just smiled. 

“Correct. Now after watching you get away, I realized that our previous getaway driver was… somewhat lacking in some areas.”

“He sucks at running?”

“Not what I meant, but I suppose. How about I let you drive the car I came in, and we can see what you really can do.”

“Or?”

“Or your body doesn’t leave that car.” 

Miles drummed his fingers on the counter, before slapping down the dollar fifty next to his mostly finished shake. The man smiled.

* * *

Miles was sitting in the back seat of the man’s car after racing around the city for an hour. The man occasionally corrected or suggested things that would make using the car easier at his small height. He didn’t seem very impressed until a cop flashed their lights for them to pull over, and he raced down the street, gliding through a side street when a truck blocked the cops vision. 

The two men from the diner were now arguing outside. The car radio wasn’t loud enough to block the conversation completely. The greasy guy sounded angry, and boss man was telling him he was ‘out’. There was a lot of back and forth arguing that Miles droned out to. He ended up turning up the radio, listening to Simon & Garfunkel. Miles suddenly heard a gunshot, and quickly turned to look out the back window. The yellow man was on the ground clutching his knee. Boss man walked back to the car, getting into the driver’s seat. 

“Let’s get you home. Joe will wonder where you are if you’re gone any longer.” The car started, and Miles leaned forward in his seat. 

“…What do I call you? Cuz I just keep calling you boss man in my head but that’s _lame_.” Miles heard a dry chuckle. 

“My clients call me Doc.” 

“What’s up D-“

“No.” The conversation slowed for a moment. “What would you like to be called?”

“My names Miles.”

“Yes, it is; But for everyone’s safety we use other names.”

“…I dunno.” 

_They call me baby driver… and once upon a pair of wheels, I hit the road and I’m go-o-o-on_

“Baby the driver, Baby. Bit on the nose, but it works.”

“…Okay.”

“Good. Now put your seatbelt on Baby… What’s with the sunglasses?”

“Why do you wanna know?” 

“If the sunglasses are because you're epileptic, then I need to make sure you have meds, so you don’t have a seizure from police lights.” 

“…Things are really bright and my ears ring after… the sunglasses help with the bright thing.” 

“Can you hear?”

“Yeah pretty much… Joe’s teaching me how to read lips too though…”

“A good skill to have… Does music help with the ringing?” He never stopped to consider it.

“A bit yeah…” 

“You know how most people keep sunglasses in their cars?”

“Where do you think I got these?” Doc smiled.

“Well some people keep their iPods in the compartment under the glovebox.”

“…why would they just leave them there?”

“Most people think if they lock their cars then no one can get in. Which is true most of the time,” Doc explained. The car stopped in front of Miles’s apartment building. Doc handed him a phone. “This is a burner phone. Don’t show it to anyone else. When I call you on it, it means I’m coming to pick you up for a job. Whatever you’re doing, you have to make an excuse and wait for me outside.” Miles nodded. 

He climbed out the backseat door. “Oh and Baby, I trust you know not to tell anybody about this.” Miles nodded. “Good kid.” Doc drove away, leaving Miles on the sidewalk. He tucked the phone in his front pocket, looking up at the apartment building. He also looked at the manual car parked just down the street with no one else on the sidewalk. No time like the present to check out Doc’s trick.

* * *

Joe eyed him curiously as he walked in the apartment, worn headphones in his ears and a blue shuffle clipped to his pants.

‘Where --- get that?’

“Sherrie said it had been in the lost and found for over a month and let me take it.” Miles was glad Joe couldn’t hear his voice waver slightly with the lie. Joe gave him a strange look but let it go. Miles disappeared into his room, scrolling through all the different songs. He hadn’t heard of most of them, but that was half the fun. He clicked on the first song with his new name on it, and listened.


	11. The one where the jobs keep mixing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more new characters since I don't think Baby mentioned any of his pizza co-workers.
> 
> [ The drawing ](https://68.media.tumblr.com/597ab905971f69d7e597907ee50c1a53/tumblr_otkvi4sMuF1vmzx50o1_1280.png)

Baby’s boss, Daryl, at Good Fella’s Pizza had a begrudging admiration for him. At first, he was annoyed and uptight with him, and had confiscated five iPods in a row before realizing that Baby would always have another one ready to go. The kid didn’t back-talk him or any of the customers, and he never had to give away a pizza when the kid was driving. He always somehow made it to their house within the thirty-minute mark, and the car came back without a scratch each time. 

Daryl was surprised to see Baby boredly slouched at the counter in front of the cash register, with a gun to his head when he came out of the back.

“Welcome to Good Fella’s how may I take your order?”

“GIVE ME ALL YOUR FUCKING CASH!” The gun pressed deeper into Baby’s forehead.

“I’m sorry we don’t have that on the menu. Can I recommend the meat lovers pizza?” 

“Are you fucking crazy?”

“Yeah no you’re right, you seem more like a pineapple and ham kind of guy.” Baby looked more annoyed then scared. 

“Dude I swear to god-“

“We have small, medium, large, and holy smokes size, although our sizes run a bit small so if there’s two of you I’d suggest the large.” Another man ran through the front doors of the restaurant. 

“Hey minion what’s the hold up-“ He stopped to look at Baby. 

“Hey Griff.”

“Hey Baby.”

“Didn’t know you did petty crimes on the side.”

“The big game’s just a bit too dangerous right now.” The new guy looked slightly amused, looking around the shop.

“Griff?” The guy pressing the gun to Baby’s head turned around. 

“Yeah, he’s not gonna give you shit, come on Comet.” Daryl watched in amazement as both crooks walked out the front door. Baby went back to wiping down the counters like nothing had happened. Carol finally poked her head out of the kitchen where she had been hiding. 

“Baby?”

“Yeah, they drove away.” Carol sighed before going back to cleaning the stove. Daryl decided that he’d rather just go home then questioning Baby, making a mental note to himself to make sure the kid got a bonus this week.

* * *

Carol was working the counter when a tall suited man with dark hair walked in. 

“How can I help you today sir?” 

“Is Baby here?” 

“B-a-b-y Baby?” The man smirked.

“That’s the one.”

“He’s on delivery right now, he’ll be back fast.” 

“He never slows down.” Carol watched the strange man take a seat at one of the booths. He didn’t look like someone who should be sitting there. He stood out like a sore thumb in comparison to the other customers eating. Her mind subtly reminded her that Baby often came in, only wearing black and white as well. 

Baby eventually slid his way into the diner, money in hand as always as he bobbed his head to an inaudible beat. Carol took the money, giving him his tips before pointing to the suited man. Baby’s face fell slightly and they both walked out the front door outside. Carol tried to look like she was doing something while watching the pair out of the corner of her eye.

Baby stuck his head back inside the door, “Hey Carol, I have to do something real quick, family emergency. Tell Daryl I’ll be back in like… an hour and a half.” Carol nodded as the doors shut again, watching the pair dissapear in a fancy car down the street.

* * *

“Hey Baby, we got habanero chilis in, wanna try one!?” Ritchie shouted from the back kitchen. The other workers were all huddled in a circle, clearly all trying to get each other to eat the first one. Baby shrugged, grabbing the pepper by the stem and popping it in his mouth. Everyone waited for Baby’s face to change but it remained the same relentless bored glare that it always was. 

“Dude, did you get the wrong peppers?” 

“No, I did not _Carol_ ,” Ritchie defended, popping one of the peppers into his mouth. He quickly soured, turning red and panting. “Baby what the hell?” Ritchie swallowed the pepper with a harsh gulp. 

“Being tased is worse…” Baby shrugged, walking back to the front counter. 

“I told you-“ Ritchie panted, “He’s a robot.” Carol slapped him. 

“Oh shut up Ritchie.”

* * *

“Okay so, can you do one side vegetarian and one side meatlover’s or should we just get two smalls?” The older man with the strangely modern haircut was ordering, with a girl on his arm, young enough to be his daughter, or at least she looked like it. She suddenly perked up, poking the guys arm before hissing something in his ear, they both turned and leaned back, looking into the kitchen. 

She jumped up and waved “HI BABY!” Carol wasn’t surprised that the strange couple knew Baby; Not anymore. Baby gave a quick wave before going out back with a stack of pizzas. Delivery then.

“How long’s Baby worked here?” 

“Bout 4 months, best delivery driver we ever had.” She watched the two crack up at some strange inside joke. 

“Yeah he would be,” the guy laughed, turning around to watch the pizza car disappear down the road. They ordered their pizza, sitting in the booth staring lovingly at each other until their pizzas came out. Carol only heard one last thing before they walked out. 

“He looks yonnger without sunglasses,” the woman said, right before the doors clicked shut. Carol had only seen Baby with sunglasses on before he came into the restaurant. When he pushed his way through the doors they came off and didn’t come back on until his shift ended. Carol wondered if Daryl told him he couldn’t wear them at work.

* * *

Carol didn’t bother acting surprised when the bald man ran in, hopping over the counter and pressing himself against the floor. Baby poked his head around the kitchen wall, making brief annoyed eye contact with the man. Ten seconds later, the police ran in huffing and puffing. 

Baby pointed to the side door, “He went that way.” The cops nodded before running off, the customers stared for a moment before going back to what they were eating.  
“Baby what the fuck you doin’ here?” The man cursed. Carol wasn’t even surprised when she threw her hands up in annoyance, going into the back. She was not going to be an accomplice to whatever this was. 

“I work here?” 

“You couldn’t work at a _good_ pizza place?” 

“Would you get out of here Bats?”

“Well no now I’m curious.” Baby groaned internally. 

“Don’t make me yell for the cops.”

“Fine fine… Can I get a slice-“

“NO.”

“Jeez fine.” Bats pushed himself off the floor, walking to the door. He looked both ways before running out, going the opposite direction that the cops had. Baby was starting to wonder if he just had really bad luck or if he needed to find a different pizza place to work at.

* * *

Baby silently handed Phoenix her pizza box. No words were spoken, just a sigh on Baby’s side, and a somewhat surprised glare from Phoenix. Baby was glad to note that at least she tipped well.

* * *

Carol and Ritchie were in the small breakroom, aka the closet with a tiny crt tv hooked up in the corner. They stared at the footage of the car chase as the helicopters camera zoomed in. They saw the driver’s face for a second before he pulled a risky move, managing to crash a few cop cars and get the helicopter stuck as it tried turning around.

“That’s not-“

“Would you be surprised if it was?” Carol grumbled, taking another bite of her pizza.

“…Nah.”

* * *

The off-duty police officer was staring at Baby as he mopped the floors. It was late at night and they would probably close the restaurant once he left. 

“Can I help you sir?” 

“Yeah uh, was he working last Wednesday between 4 and 5 p.m.?” Carol didn’t even need to turn around to know who he was talking about. 

“Yeah, he was covering for Ritchie at the counter.”

“You have tapes?” Carol groaned internally.

“We do but they get recorded over each day.” That was a lie. “I’m gonna warn you we only have cheese pizza left though.”

The officer took one last look at Baby before shaking his head. “You got two slices?”

“Yes sir, coming right up.”

The pizza was in a small box and in the officer’s hands three minutes later. She sighed in relief when the man finally left. 

“Why’d you lie?” Baby’s voice was quiet.

“I hate doing deliveries.” That was true.

* * *

The next week Carol found an extra thousand dollars deposited in her bank account. There was no message or name left behind, but when she looked out the window, the dark-haired suited man was smiling from outside the diner, before quickly disappearing. 

Well if she was gonna have to deal with a bunch of criminals every week at least she was getting paid. It didn’t stop her from internally groaning the next day when four of them walked through the door together. Baby face planted on the counter next to her. 

"I need to find somewhere else to work..."

"You and me both Baby, you and me both."


	12. The one with Gold. Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was pretty long so i decided to cut it up into 2 pieces..

Baby winced as his arms were wrenched behind his back, and his face was pressed into the sidewalk, forcing the sunglasses off. The cop was shouting something but Baby wasn’t listening. He had tripped while running, still too dazed from the crash to keep his head on straight. At least he didn’t hit his head on the steering wheel. He heard a click and cold metal was suddenly digging into his wrists. 

He faintly wondered if Doc would have someone snuff him out in his cell to prevent him from talking when he heard a gunshot. Suddenly the heavy weight on his back was gone, and he heard something hit the ground behind him. The other cops were still stuck a few buildings back, hiding from the barrage of bullets. 

It took a second to gain enough momentum to get up without use of his hands, but he managed to get on his feet, jogging away from the cops. He jumped up onto the top of a bench in order to get the height he needed to swing his arms under his legs. He landed a bit sloppily and his ankle stung, but at least his hands were in front now. 

He really needed to start going to the gym considering how often these chases involved running now. Darling smashed out a window while Bats and Griff covered her. Baby ran next to Darling to get in the front seat, and she looked questioningly at the handcuffs for a minute. 

“Hand’s up Baby.” Baby got the message, raising his arms up high, covering his ears with his upper arms. She shot through the chain with a swift shot, Baby quickly got to work brushing glass off of the seat before going to start the car. Darling hopped in the passenger seat, opening the two back seats for the other two. 

The engine purred and Bats and Griff started running backwards towards the car. Baby found a pair of sunglasses in the ceiling panel and slid them on as the doors slammed shut, flooring the car. 

“Anybody shot?”

“Just a shoulder,” Griff grumbled, pulling off his matching navy-blue suit top. Baby’s own suit look scuffed up. He wasn’t sure whether having to dress up now as well made the job more fun or more daunting. Everyone ducked as the cops ran out, shooting out the back window of the car as they sped off. 

Another cop car was on their tail in less than a minute, the car shaking as they smashed into the back, busting the taillights. Baby put the car into the highest gear, and the car shook as they took a sharp turn. The cop car bounced off a mail box but kept following them. Griff and Bats tucked down before shooting out the back window. The cop in the passenger seat quickly took the opportunity to join the gunfight, but Bats nailed her right in the fingers, causing her to scream and drop the gun. 

The other car sped up in retaliation, and was now riding right on the back of their bumper. Baby’s foot was to the floor but the car was old and wouldn’t get faster. If he tried brake turning they would be rammed into by the side, but they might be able to get away. Before he had to risk it, Griff managed to shoot the driver and Bats got the wheels. The other car slowed down just enough for Baby to make the turn. 

It was just his luck that three cops were coming from the other direction. Baby whipped the car around to go the other way, just skidding off the side of a white SUV. He cursed under his breath, this car wasn’t fast enough. And there was definitely wasn’t time to switch cars. Darling leaned out her window, joining in the fire fight. 

He ducked as low as he could in the seat while still being able to see the road. More bullets riddled through the car, and Baby’s ears were screaming at the noise, headphones barely blocking anything out. He had to do something crazy and he knew it. A bullet ripped through the head rest above him, a piece of fluff fluttered down onto his forehead.  
Baby floored it past The World of Coca-Cola before turning abruptly, and gunning it through the park across the street. People ran away as they barreled over the side-walk. The car thudded endlessly but they eventually flew out the exit. They gained a bit of distance as they made it back onto the main road. 

“Baby you gonna be able to get us out of this?” Darling sounded somewhat panicked.

Baby just grimaced before turning the car, heading to the switch. Normally they didn’t want the cops still on them, but they needed a new car, and fast. Bats kept shooting at the cops with both his and Griffs guns. Griff himself was trying to tie off his arm with his tie to stop the bleeding. 

“We have to get the switch car…” 

“What car are we going to switch to after we finally lose them?” Darling tapped her feet, undoing her seatbelt. 

“I don’t know. But this car is too slow and way too obviously shot at at this point… there won’t be any losing them.” The car was silent with only sirens just off in the distance. Baby managed to get just enough of a lead that the cops were still around the corner when they flew into the garage entrance. Baby didn’t even bother parking the car, just let it slow down enough for them to hop out. It feebly kept rolling down to the edge of the garage as they hopped into the switch car. Baby didn’t turn on the engine and they all sunk down into their seats. 

Two of the cop cars flew by the building, but one of them pulled into the parking garage. The car pulled to a stop next to the still rolling car. Baby waited for them to get out of their car and start investigating before quickly turning on the car, reversing before flying forward out of the garage. Bats opened his door enough to shoot at their car tires before slamming it shut again. They floored it in the opposite direction that the cops went, going moderately fast, but not fast enough to garner much attention. 

Darling had already managed to get her suit top off, revealing the sweat soaked tank top underneath. Griff had to undo his tie to get his jacket off, and Bats fumbled with his shirt buttons. Baby managed to shrug off his left sleeve but Darling had to get the right side off for him. His wrists were red from the handcuffs, and he kept his hands low on the steering wheel to keep them out of view. 

There was no guarantee that a cop wouldn’t see them and immediately follow on their trail, and if the cops at the garage saw enough of the car to report it, then they would lead them straight to the safe house with traffic cams. Even if they managed to empty out the place in time Doc still might kill him for the idiotic strategy. He pulled into the next garage he saw, making sure no cop cars were on the street.  
Baby found the closest incognito car he could, picking the door lock rather than smashing the window. He got the car started for the others before getting back in the switch car.  
“You guys go back to the safe house in that car, wait five minutes after I leave. I gotta make sure there’s no heat on this car before we can go back to base.” 

“You sure?” Darling sounded tired.

“Yeah.” Baby took off down the ramp, driving out of the garage. He took off his sunglasses and earbuds, keeping his hands low and cruising around. He made sure to drive around a few cops, but none turned around after him. They were looking for four perps not one. The music on the radio was bland, or at least the stations that worked. 

He was driving for 45 minutes when his burner phone buzzed. Baby hit the speaker button, keeping it out of window range. 

_“It’s safe to come back to the nest.”_

“On my way.” Doc hung up. The ride was strange, Baby did his best to drive like everyone around him without particularly knowing any real rules of the road. He knew the main basic ones, but he still got honked at every once and a while for taking turns too sharp or forgetting his turn signal. By the time he pulled into the safe house’s garage he was exhausted.

* * *

Noone seemed excited as they collected their money, the car chase that had gone on too long had sucked all the fun out of it, and adrenaline was crashing. Darling patched up Griff the best she could before the three took off. Baby sat at his desk trying to get the right handcuff off, left handcuff already in the trash.

Doc didn’t say anything to Baby until he elevator doors closed. “How many more times do you think you can pull that off?”

“I… we barely even pulled it off this time…” Baby didn’t lie to Doc. “I doubt anybody but Bats would be crazy enough to do another job like that.”

Doc was quiet for a minute, thoroughly cleaning the board. “Do you remember Gold?”

“…The old getaway driver?” 

“I was thinking of giving him a trial run.” Baby was surprised at that. He’d heard stories from Phoenix of how many times they barely managed to get away when he was behind the wheel. That he took risks in all the wrong places, and was a general nuisance to work with. 

“For a while I was convinced that maybe the cops were more after you then the others… It doesn’t take too much skill to rob a bank every few weeks, but to escape the cops every single week… I’d understand why they were going nuts.” Baby nodded.

“But, now they’re going after other criminals with the same amount of fury that they’ve been going after us with.” Doc slapped the eraser down. “Originally I was thinking if I switched to Gold for a while the cops might calm down a bit… but that’s not going to work anymore.”

“What are you planning now?”

“I was thinking I could set Gold as a tank… Someone to knock the cop cars off your tail so you can make a getaway.”

“That doesn’t sound like it’s going to make the cops _less_ angry.”

“No, but there won’t be as many close calls.”

“…If you can get anyone to do another job…” Doc smiled. 

“Let me worry about that.”

* * *

The waiting time for large group meetings was murder. They couldn’t all arrive at the same time, so it took about 3 hours for everyone to arrive. Buddy and Darling were the last to limp in before Doc and Gold arrived. Most of the group didn’t know who he was but the few legacy members looked preemptively annoyed. 

Baby didn’t miss the death glare that Gold sent him. Baby didn’t remember much of him, but he looked just as greasy as ever. 

“Now not all of you have been around this long, but this is Gold, the getaway driver before Baby.” Some heads looked up at the two of them. The older members seemed more surprised that Doc had left Gold alive. 

“I imagine most of you have noticed the police are getting… a bit more difficult-“ Doc went over his plans with the others. Some people looked happy, others looked annoyed.  
“Gold could barely make corners, what makes you think he can get the cops off us.” Phoenix looked annoyed, Gold looked more annoyed. 

“I don’t imagine it’s too hard to hit a vehicle, it’s usually _not_ hitting them that’s the difficult part.” Some people chuckled at that.

“Yeah, no offence Doc, but I’m pretty sure you replaced him with like, a ten-year-old for a reason…” Darling mentioned, Gold’s death glares on Baby increased by thirty percent as more people laughed. 

“Well Darling if it bothers you so much, just be happy you’d still be in Baby’s car. Now I know most of you are just about ready to drop this game, but we’re doing at least one more job. Who wants in?”

Baby was surprised to see Phoenix’s hand go up, wasn’t surprised to see Bats’s go up, and was confused to see Darling’s hand go up. Everyone else seemed fine with the game being done, or at least wanted to make sure this new system worked first. 

“Alright. Everyone but these five… scat. Don’t all leave the building at once.” People started piling into the elevator in small bunches, likely going to hang out in either the car park or the lobby. Baby caught Phoenix muttering something into Gold’s ear. She wasn’t much for romantics so Baby assumed it was likely a threat. Darling walked over and Buddy took his time behind her, wincing slightly with each step.

“Gold doesn’t look too happy with you.”

“Gee, what gave you that idea.” They watched Gold send another glare over Phoenix’s shoulder. 

“Just don’t get stuck in a room with him Baby. Gold didn’t try too hard to swerve around pedestrians as you do.” Darling gave him a brief rub on the shoulder before heading to the main table. Buddy didn’t feel like waiting upstairs for Darling so he just sat down on Baby’s desk. Baby wordlessly pulled out an earbud and passed it over, switching iPods to the one with the Queen playlist. 

Griff and his new lackies were the last ones into the elevator. “If you don’t see me again… well actually, it probably means _you_ guys are dead.” The elevator shut on that ominous note. Gold was still glaring at Baby as he got up. For once he left Buddy with his iPod. Somehow the ringing felt like a more accurate soundtrack to this plan. 

Baby listened to the plan with his ears instead of his eyes. His eyes were too focused at the irony of the costumes. Doc must have decided to go all out considering this might be the last Atlanta job… The outfits were a mixture of silver and gold.


	13. The one with Gold. Part 2

Baby felt eyes on his back as he walked into the diner. For once he was glad that Debbie didn’t work weekends. The waitress at the counter seemed a bit surprised at the order of two burgers instead of one. 

The second the waitress walked off after placing his two burgers down, Gold walked through the door, cigarette in mouth. He eyed the extra burger curiously.

“Ain’t as stupid as you look.” He sat down on the other side of the booth. Baby took a sip of his milkshake. “Never seen the cops so damn mad before. You hear about the guy they put in the hospital for tryna steal someone’s bike? Crazy.” He took an obnoxiously large bite of his burger. Baby gave him a pointed glare when he finished chewing.

“Right so, didn’t come here to chat obviously-“ he leaned back in the booth “- You see, I used to make a pretty good buck doing these jobs. Sure a few more cops died then needed to, maybe an old lady got side swiped when I made a turn. But I ain’t ever got busted either.” 

The waitress walked by, “Hey doll can I get a coke?” The waitress gave him an annoyed glare when he turned back to face Baby again. 

“Then your little punk ass fucked all that up. Not even five feet tall yet, you lost Doc five mil, and he decides to _hire_ you.” The waitress slammed down the coke glass a bit harder than necessary. “See I don’t see how that’s fair. Now I’m working at a fucking Dominos and stealing cars for a chop shop. Do you know how much it sucks working at a pizza joint?”  
Baby managed to keep a straight face. 

“You don’t talk much huh. Probably the only reason those assholes like you.” Gold finished off his burger, slapping his hands together loudly to get the crumbs off. “Well it was fun yelling at you. Don’t have to tell you to watch your back, you don’t look that stupid.” Gold made sure that his gun flashed for a second adjusting his jacket. He gulped down the coke before walking out. “Thanks for the grub.” 

Baby let out the annoyed sigh he’d been holding in. The other waitress sat down where Gold had been sitting. “Friend of yours?”

“New guy at work…” 

“Gotta _love_ those,” She grumbled, picking up Gold’s plate and glass. 

Baby sucked down his milkshake, watching Gold’s taillights disappear down the street. He got his burger wrapped up for Joe, tipping the waitress heavily. He walked out of the restaurant with his food in hand, turning on some happy-go-lucky nonsense song before heading home.

* * *

The silver paint on Baby’s face itched and cracked as he scrunched his nose, but it came off fast with wet wipes, which was all that mattered. Him and Phoenix were in silver, while Bats and Darling were in gold. Gold was dressed like usual, which included a lot of jewelry in the color of his namesake anyhow. The metallic jacket was slightly too tight, but it didn’t hurt at all. He was parked as close as he could get to the bank he could get without suspicion, and Gold was some ways down the block in a heavy black truck. 

The alarms went off and the metallic group ran out of the bank. Baby hit the gas as soon as everyone was in the car, and the doors slammed shut with a thud. He could already hear sirens through his music, and the others were somewhat tense. 

Baby was surprised to see a cop car from another town, but then again, they had been taking out a decent number of the cities officers lately. This car was built for speed however, and they quickly jetted off, sliding into a side alley and out onto a different main street. Baby made sure he was paying attention both to the cops and Gold. 

The man in question didn’t show up until there were four cops on their tail and their back window had been shattered. Phoenix managed to take out one of the cars with a lucky shot through the grill of the car. Baby saw Gold speed up through the mirrors, counting seconds in his head before he would be able to safely hit one of the cars into a building wall. 

Gold went against all logic and against the music. Gold smashed the car into the building when there was no beat and when there was a mother and daughter walking down the sidewalk. They heard the crunch and the screaming. Then the sudden silence before the bystanders started screaming in response. Baby managed to pull his eyes off the mirror and back to the road, feeling nauseous. He heard Darling whisper ‘Oh my god’ next to him. Everyone else in the car was facing backwards while the car flew forward. 

One of the other cops stopped to deal with the accident. One cop car was still on their tail, and Gold had already dislodged his truck, already heading back towards them. Baby threw the car sideways through an intersection, quickly turning down the next street. Baby’s sunglasses fell off, and one of the lenses cracked. The cop behind them had to stop in the intersection to avoid smashing into other cars. Gold decided that wasn’t enough and rammed the cop car from the side, sending it sliding down the street. 

“That dude’s fucking crazy-” Bats turned around “-and I know crazy.” Baby couldn’t help but agree with him. Baby wondered if Gold always used to drive that way, or if he’d just lost his rocker. He really hoped that wasn’t Gold’s way of threatening him. Baby reached down and put on the somewhat broken sunglasses. 

They made it to the switch a lot faster than they had in a while. The two switch cars were parked ways apart. Darling and Gold were supposed to come back in one car, while Baby, Bats, and Phoenix went in the other. Baby didn’t think that Darling would be willing to get in the car. 

Gold pulled up in the smashed up truck two minutes later, grinning like he’d hit the lottery. He parked the truck before hopping out, not bothering to turn off the engine.  
“Was that great or what?” Nobody moved except Phoenix, who folded her arms. “Oh like you assholes could’ve done it any better.” He spit on the ground, pulling a new cigarette. “Come on Darling let’s go.”

“No.”

“’scuse me? I just saved your ass back there,” He lit the cigarette as Darling pulled off her golden jacket.

“N-O means no asshole, or did you not make it past kindergarten?” Gold pulled a gun on her, and Bats and Phoenix pulled theirs on him. The gold paint on her face glittered in defiance, reflecting the setting sun outside. It made her look more powerful than the paints namesake.

Gold tucked his gun back under his jeans, hopping back in the truck, suddenly flooring it into their switch car. Phoenix ran forward, ripping Gold out of the car and throwing him on the ground. Bats was right behind her. 

“The fuck’s your problem?” Bats got a kick in before Gold swung his arm out at his ankles, knocking him over. Gold pulled his gun back out, shooting through Phoenix’s shoulder.  
“You know what, these three assholes I would believe, but really Phoenix, I expected better from you.” Gold picked up his fallen cigarette, skipping over to Bats to kick him in the guts. Darling already pulled out her gun, aiming right at the center of Gold’s chest. 

“I always knew you were a greasy douchebag.” Darlings hair blew in the wind. Bats was still down, but he grabbed his gun, throwing it hard across the concrete floor, sliding to a stop in front of Baby. Baby didn’t like guns, but he disliked Gold more. The silver pistol matched his outfit.

“Oh aren’t you two cute. Too bad your sugar daddy isn’t here Darling. He looked like a better shot.” Gold quickly fired, taking out both of Darling’s knees. She hit the ground hissing, but still fired, the shot just brushed Gold’s side. Baby took a few steps forward, cutting off Gold’s path. 

“You’re adorable Baby, I doubt you’ve ever even fired a-“ Baby took three quick shots, all nailing Gold in the chest, one in each lung and another in his heart. Just because he didn’t like guns didn’t mean that Doc didn’t teach him. 

Gold stared for a second, his face was a mixture of pain and anger. As he fell backwards he took one last shot. Baby felt something cut through the side of his head right above his ear as Gold hit the ground. 

Baby quickly put his sleeve against the side of his head. A line of red was on the sleeve when he pulled away. Gold was gasping on the ground as blood spread out underneath him. Blood dripped down Darlings legs, Phoenix’s chest, and Baby’s head. Nobody moved until Gold stopped doing so. 

Bats managed to get up finally, walking over slowly before kicking Gold, standing there for a second waiting. “Yeah, this bitch’s dead.” 

Phoenix made her way over, giving the body a hearty kick as well. 

“I just said he was dead.”

“Maybe I just wanted to double check.” 

Darling poked Baby in the leg, “Hey can you just… triple check for me, I can’t do it myself.” She pointed to her knees. 

Phoenix grinned, “Nah Darling, I’ll do it. It’d stain Baby’s converses.” She kicked the body again, Baby put the sleeve back against the wound on his head, hissing at the pain. Bats picked up Darling and carried her into the back seat of the other switch car. Phoenix wrapped up her shoulder wound with her own silver jacket. Bats gave Darling his to wrap around her knees. 

Since everyone but Bat’s was bleeding everywhere they all squished in the back while he drove. Phoenix was wrapping Baby’s jacket around his head, giving him the most ridiculous hat on the planet. Bats was the only one to change completely out of his costume, since the others were too bloody and tired to care.

Baby put on some goofy songs, and Darling stole an earbud. Darling didn’t say anything about the music, and instead just quietly hummed along. Baby was glad she wasn’t singing; Bats would’ve never stopped making fun of him if he figured out they were listening to Shake it Off.

* * *

“According to the news it looks like it went-“ Doc turned around “-Well never mind then. I’m guessing something went down?”

“Yeah Gold went crazy and shot at us, that’s what happened.” Phoenix grumbled, throwing herself into a chair. Bats put Darling down on the main table, and Baby collapsed right next to her, laying down, passing her earbud back. 

“You take him down?” Doc gestured to Bats. 

“Nope, Baby’s got a mean shot.” Docs eyebrows lifted slightly.

“That’s our Baby.” He went into the back room, and a sleepy Buddy quickly ran in the room with a bad case of bed head. Darling snorted and started laughing at him, and Phoenix surprisingly joined in. The blood loss must’ve made her completely delirious. 

Doc must’ve been calling the medic since he didn’t come back out for several minutes. Someone must’ve gone to get their car since Gold’s body was finally being announced on the radio. Baby’s head was pounding by the time the Medic arrived. She took a second to glare at the group like being shot was somehow their fault before going over to Baby first. Apparently head wounds bled faster, who knew.

She had to shave a part of his hair to stitch up the long wound, giving him a racing stripe like a car. Darling made a vrooming sound when she saw it, laughing like it was the funniest joke she’d ever heard. The medic wisely decided that Darling needed attention next.

Doc helped Baby get the glittery paint off his face and sent him to change out of his bloody clothes, leaving Darling with his iPod. Phoenix was mostly aware and had already managed to change most of her clothes, sitting there in pants and her bra, with the silver jacket once again wrapped around the wound. When she caught Bats staring she threw her shoe across the room at him, nailing him in the head despite the blood loss. Darling cheered as Bats swore, and Buddy laughed from Baby’s desk. 

Baby walked back in with sweats and a new pair of sunglasses as the Medic started working on Phoenix’s wound. Darling had her knees wrapped up and Buddy and Bats had disappeared. 

“They’re going to go steal a wheelchair from the hospital… hopefully nobodies still using it,” Darling announced as Baby hopped back up on the table next to her. He switched the music to something a bit quieter before laying down again. 

Right as Phoenix was pulling her shirt on the elevator door opened. Bats mimicked a trumpet while Buddy carried in the wheelchair, tossing it to the ground. It rolled to a stop in front of Baby and Darling. Doc glared at the group, putting his hand over the speaker of his phone.

“Children, Dad is on the phone.” Bats sheepishly rose his hands as Doc went back to his conversation. The medic checked over Buddy’s healing wound before leaving. Darling complained as Buddy picked her up to put her in the wheelchair. Once the elevator came back down the other four left, everyone looking grumpy and tired. Baby put his other earbud back in until Doc finished his phone conversation. 

“Well it appears my time in Atlanta may be over,” Doc sighed. 

“You gonna start up again somewhere else?” 

“Mmm I was thinking Hartford, or maybe Los Angeles… Ordinarily I’d like to start over with mostly locals, just so there’s no connections.”

“But?”

“Well you’d look good with black hair, and I’m sure Joe’s tired of living in an apartment where the elevator’s broken 90 percent of the time.” 

“Hmmm… Need a few days to think about it…” Baby tapped his fingers on the table.

“I’m sure you do… Now come on, I’m not letting you walk home with a head wound like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed a break from writing it so i drew a scene - 
> 
>  
> 
> [ The drawing ](https://68.media.tumblr.com/e4489c86bf1f3cf105df83894e67ad9e/tumblr_otmohye2lA1vmzx50o1_1280.png)
> 
>  
> 
> Also since these stories have no stakes on one another, business as usual for the next one.


	14. The one where Griff fights Santa.

“HO HO HO BITCHES!” Baby took his earbud out to look at Griff as he walked out of the elevator, with his newest lackey in tow. Griff had a large red and white Santa hat on, clearly contrasting the black of the rest of his outfit. 

Darling laughed quietly, “Do I wanna know which mall Santa you stole that from?”

“It was a _sidewalk_ Santa,” He corrected. “Heads up, short stuff!” Griff pulled a candy cane out of his pocket, whipping it across the room at Baby’s face. Baby just managed to slide down in his chair, catching the candy cane in between his palms. 

“Have you been drinking?” Darling asked as Griff stuck his tongue out at Baby, who promptly unwrapped the long end of the candy cane.

“No… Okay yeah, but it’s only the plan so… who cares.” Griff threw another candy cane to Darling, who expertly caught the hook around her finger. He turned to his minion, “You just gonna stand there Comet?” The black-haired twenty-something awkwardly sat down in a chair across from Darling. Baby bobbed his head to Michael Bublé on a newly stolen gold nano, sucking on the candy cane to the beat. 

Doc finished his phone call in the other room, and Griff somehow resisted the urge to throw a candy cane at him before collapsing in the chair next to Darling. Baby got up to sit at the end of the table, feet hitting the floor to the beat, only Darling seemed to notice. 

The job was unsurprisingly Christmas themed, Doc made a snarky comment that Baby could wear the Christmas hat that he’d gotten for Griff since he already apparently had one. They also had red trench’s and white pants, with candy cane striped sunglasses. It was a simple looking jewelry heist, but Baby still had to boost a pretty fast car. The job was early in the morning at eight, which meant they had to be at the safehouse at seven for prep. As soon as Doc finished Griff jumped out of his seat, not having any questions as always, Comet got up after him.

“If you don’t see me again, it means I failed at teaching my minion how safety on a gun works.” The elevator door shut and Darling audibly sucked on her candy cane.

“At least he switched it up this time…”

* * *

Baby tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to the tune of the music. It was only his third time listening through the new songs, and he didn’t have enough grasp on the lyrics to accurately lip sing along. He watched a salvation army Santa wave his bell in the air, red bucket in hand. Baby absentmindedly noted that the hat wasn’t the same shade of red as the rest of the costume.

The alarms rang from the jewelry store, Darling and Comet ran out first, with Griff trailing behind slightly with a heavier bag. The mall Santa turned to look at the robbers, only to stare harshly at Griff, who’s hat matched Santa's outfit. 

Griff barely had time to turn around when suddenly the street Santa ran at him, tackling him to the ground. Darling threw her bag in the backseat before turning to look for Griff. Everyone stared dumbfounded at the sight of a criminal and Santa going at it on the sidewalk. 

“GO GRIFF!” Darling cheered. Comet dumped his bag before running back over to help Griff. Darling hopped in the front seat next to Baby, who whipped the car around to the other side of the street, throwing open the window. Comet got the message and chucked Griff’s bag in. Griff threw off the hat before punching the Santa in the face. Comet climbed in the car on Baby’s side, and Griff jumped into the car head first through the window, legs hanging out of the car. 

Baby floored it, making sure he didn’t hit Griff with any cars until he finally fell in all the way, face planting in the leg space in between the seats. Baby finally shut the window, turning down the street as they heard sirens. Griff was laughing in the back as he got up on the seat. Baby saw Santa chasing their car in the mirror until they turned.

“Man, what are the odds. Really shoulda paid attention to the location of the shop yesterday.” 

Darling sighed before chuckling quietly, “I really hope they got that on video…”

“It was our best getaway yet,” Griff agreed. 

Baby slammed the car sideways down the street, before reversing into the other lane of traffic, and boosting forward again. The cop car behind them didn’t slow down in time, crashing into a light post. The getaways were a bit easier during holidays, since most cops were too busy stopping minor shoplifters or waiting on the highways to catch drunk drivers. 

They made it to the switch eight minutes later, and Griff started laughing again as soon as he got in the driver’s seat. 

“What?” Darling stretched out in the back seat, now in a lazy blue long-sleeved shirt. 

“I’m just thinking of the headlines…” They drove out of the garage. “Jewelry Robbers stop to beat up Santa.” Darling giggled slightly. “Santa fails to apprehend criminals… Do you think the police will hire him? He’s gotten closer to stopping us then any of them have.” Darling burst out laughing and Baby laughed quietly. Comet seemed too uncomfortable to laugh, clearly not good with new people. 

“God, I can’t wait to see Doc’s face when we get back.” Darling started laughing again.

* * *

Doc didn’t mention the strange getaway when they got back, but he had a look on his face that looked vaguely unimpressed with all of them as he split the cash. Griff and Comet took off first once again.

“If you don’t see me again, it means that street Santa got his revenge.” Darling went up in another fit of laughter as the elevator shut. 

“Well I’ve got shit to do, see yourselves out.” Doc disappeared into the back, Baby and Darling waited for the elevator.

* * *

If Carol had ever looked unimpressed before, this look took the cake. 

“What.” Baby smiled. Carol dragged him into the ‘breakroom’ before turning on the TV. The news had the headline “Jewelry Robbers escape after fight with Santa.” Griff wasn’t too far off. 

“Hey I didn’t fight him,” Baby defended. Carol just rolled her eyes before going back to work. Baby watched the fight, laughing quietly before turning off the TV and going to change.

Half an hour later Baby nearly burst out laughing when the street Santa showed up to order a pizza, pieces of sidewalk gravel still stuck in his fake beard.


	15. The one where Phoenix is a softie.

“Why are we stopped at a school?” Eddie the Nose looked bored. 

“We’re picking up the driver,” Phoenix explained again for the fiftieth time, glaring out the window suspiciously.

“Our getaway driver is a middle school teacher?” He sneered. Phoenix was half ready to slap him when the school bell finally rung. Children burst out the door screaming, and Phoenix was somewhat happy that their kid was quiet. Buddy was chuckling quietly in the back seat as Eddie tapped his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel again. 

They heard a quiet knock on the side of the door, and Eddie opened up the door to Baby standing there, hands on the straps of his backpack. 

“Wrong car kid.” Eddie went to shut the door on his face. 

“I’m Baby, your driver.” He stuck out his tiny hand for a handshake. Buddy was snickering in the back.

“Very funny kid, what are you, five?” Baby sighed taking off his backpack, pulling out a cassette player with a red labeled tape, hitting play. 

_“Whoever it is bugging the kid, this is your driver, deal with it.”_ Docs voice rang out loud and clear. 

Eddie turned to the other occupants of the car, “You can’t be serious.”

“We are.” Buddy said, unlocking the other backseat door so Baby could get in. 

“That’s what you get for skipping the planning session,” Phoenix sighed. 

“And I’m eleven not five.” Baby confirmed before pulling his headphones out of his backpack, and his newly acquired pink shuffle. 

“Oh because that makes a _world_ of difference,” Eddie grumbled, pulling out of the parking lot.

“If he were five he wouldn’t be able to see over the steering wheel,” Buddy pointed out, earning a glare through the mirror.

* * *

Eddie watched the kid expertly vault over the center console of the car as they ran out of the bank, adjusting all the mirrors quickly before revving the car. Buddy got in the passenger seat and Eddie and Phoenix slid in the back seat. The car jetted forward as soon as the doors shut, and the alarm from the bank started ringing behind them.

Baby drove the car like it was as easy as tying his shoelaces, never looking down to see what his hands were doing as they shifted gears or pulled the e-brake. The only sign of strain on the kids face was when he had to lean to look through the mirrors or to see farther ahead, or when he had to slide down in the seat slightly to slam on the clutch or gas.

They made it to the switch in the amount of time it would’ve taken Eddie to beat rainbow road on Mario kart. Baby grabbed his backpack from the backseat after parking the car, hopping out to get into the back seat of the switch car. Phoenix ruffled the kid’s hair before getting in next to him. Buddy got in the driver’s seat. Eddie stared at the kid from the passenger seat. 

“Is he like one of those piano kids or some shit?” 

“What?” Phoenix crossed her legs. 

“You know, those kids who are shit at everything, but are like, great at playing the piano.”

“He’s quiet not slow,” Buddy said, pulling out of the garage. Baby pulled out a textbook and paper from his backpack, folding his legs up on the seat to balance the book on. 

“Kid just did a bank heist, but _by god_ if he doesn’t do his homework.” Phoenix slapped Eddie on the back of the head.

* * *

Baby sat at his desk away from the planning table, finishing up his math homework while Doc split and sorted the cash. Eddie noticed Phoenix looking over Baby’s shoulder, wincing every few minutes when he made some sort of error. Buddy was playing with the toy cars, clearly aiming at Eddie as they whirred over the table. 

Doc was staring at them all like Baby wasn’t the only child in the room. Baby shut the textbook at the same moment that Doc slapped down the last clip of cash in the pile. Doc quickly filled up the black non-descript bags as Baby zipped up his own. 

“What are you gonna do with all that money kid, get a thousand ice creams?” Eddie leaned back in his chair.

“Doc said he’s putting it in a saving’s account till I’m old enough…” Baby mumbled, dropping the heavy backpack on top of his desk. It technically wasn’t a lie, the small amount that Baby did get from his bag went into an account, the rest just went to Doc.

The bags were slid down the table to each client, Doc carrying two bags and Baby just with his backpack. Eddie and Buddy got off at the first level, Phoenix at the second, and Doc and Baby at the third. 

When Joe asked him what took him so long to get back home, Baby just told him he walked.

* * *

Phoenix didn’t know what made her sit outside at the little café across from Baby’s school the next day. The food was okay and the coffee was clearly made by a coffee fueled college student, but Phoenix just couldn’t help with the paranoid feeling resting in her bones. She finished downing the strong coffee when she finally realized what was bugging her. That old beat-up Chevy in the school parking lot looked way too familiar. She put a 20 under her coffee cup before making her way back across the street. 

She eyed the greasy golden hair out of the corner of her eye, fingers tapping lazily against the outside of the car door. 

“Gold, don’t make me get the principal.” Gold laughed, something ugly and drunken. 

“Oh, that’s funny, Doc send you as a body guard?”

“No. Guess I could just smell the grease yesterday. Get out of here Gold.”

“Oh what are you gonna do?” He blew smoke in her face. She grabbed his hand, bending the fingers back until he dropped the cigarette. “Thought you liked me Phoenix.” 

“What can I say, the kid’s a charmer.” Gold bent down to pick up the cigarette off the cars floor. Phoenix leaned over his back to swipe his gun from the passenger seat. “I can’t say much about your career, but I don’t know how your rep will do when people find out you killed a kid in a jealous fit.”

“Can’t kill nobody ‘thout a gun.”

“Not as stupid as you look. Don’t let me catch you round here again Gold.” He raised his hands placatingly, starting his car back up.

“Yeah okay sheriff,” He scoffed, blowing more smoke in her face before flooring it backwards, nearly hitting a Chevy as he blasted out of the parking lot. Phoenix bitterly breathed in the fumes, standing on the sidewalk. She looked back across at the small café. She could suffer through a few more days of breakfast there.


	16. The one with the magic of music.

Darling’s the first person to notice how the music affects everything, since she’s the only one who steals one of Baby’s earbuds on a fairly regular basis. What at first, she chalked up to fun coincidence, eventually became perplexing, and then concerning. When Baby’s listening to the music, everyone is on beat. The way everyone walks, gestures, and moves matches the music. 

Doc sorts money to the beat, people get out of chairs on beat, the elevator doors open and close on queue. Darling finds herself moving to the beat even when she’s never heard the song before. She didn’t find out until there was another shoot-out, Baby was tucked low in his seat, earbuds on full blast to Bohemian Rhapsody, loud enough that she could hear it almost clearly. Every bullet went to the beat during the lack of lyrics, including the cops’ bullets. It might’ve saved her ass in the long run, but it was still freaky to figure out. 

Buddy refused to believe her until they had a large meeting with a number of other clientele, and he had stolen Baby’s other earbud before she could. He could only watch Doc snap his fingers, or Phoenix click her heels, or Heaven’s fingernails tap against the keys of his phone for so long until he started to believe. Baby looked like he wasn’t even paying attention to anything but everything still followed the music, including when Griff started throwing paper airplanes into the trashcan when he thought Doc wasn’t listening.

* * *

“You think Baby has musical superpowers?” Doc sounded unimpressed with the pair.

“You ever listen to music with him?” Buddy pressed.

“I’m his boss not his babysitter.” 

“Just… next time you’re in a car with him, let him pick the radio station, and then pay attention to the other cars,” Darling insisted.

“You’re serious?”

“Hey, I didn’t believe it at first either,” Buddy defended. 

“…Remind me to get you two psych evaluations…” They both groaned defeatedly.

* * *

“You think Baby is like Carrie with music?” Bats asked. They felt the sarcastic laughter coming, but said ‘yes’ anyway. He laughed, “Yeah okay he’s quiet and the music’s annoyin, but y’all gotta be on way better drugs then I thought if you think that.”

It takes two jobs before they finally get a chance to prove Bats wrong. The cops slam them and they go spinning down the street in the rain, Baby’s headphones fly out of his ears and the iPod falls to the floor of the passenger’s seat. Darling quickly scoops it up, pulling her own pink auxiliary cord from her purse as Baby regains enough control of the car to get them straight again. She hooks up the iPod to the car, finding the right setting in the console as the music blares out the speaker.

Blitzkrieg Bop echoes out of the speakers, and Darling reaches behind her seat to shake Bats’s knee before pointing at the windshield wipers, going avidly to the beat. He looks extremely skeptical, until two cars slam to a stop to avoid the speeding car, right on time. Baby adjusts the stick rapidly, and each side glare he gives to the mirrors matches the song. 

Bats isn’t completely convinced until the song changed, and the windshield wipers seemed to speed up slightly to match the faster tempo, despite Baby not touching the controls at all. Baby doesn’t look like he noticed at all as he does a tight turn into the parking garage. 

Bats doesn’t stop glaring at Baby until they’re back at the warehouse.

* * *

“Maybe there’s a gas leak in here I haven’t noticed yet,” Doc grumbles, staring at the group of three. 

“Doc, it’s fuckin weird,” Bats spats, glaring at Baby as he walks back into the room from the bathroom. “Look we’ll show you.” Bats walks over to Baby, grabbing his headphones and iPod and turning it up as hard as it can go. Baby looks confused but doesn’t go for the iPod as Bats pulls out his gun and aims at the wall. Buddy and Darling follow suit, and Baby instinctively goes to cover his ears when they all start firing randomly, matching perfectly to the beat of Kiss until they run out of bullets. 

Baby unplugs his ears, shaking his head. Doc’s eyebrows are raised as he silently hands Baby back his iPod. Baby starts turning the volume down and gets ready to put the earbuds back in when he realizes everyone is staring at him. “What?” 

“Baby how does the music do that?” Doc asks, he sounds professional enough but his voice wavers slightly.

“Do _what_?” Baby looks completely clueless. 

“Why does everything go to the beat of the music?” 

“Is it not supposed to?” Bats slaps himself in the face and groans loudly. 

“NO!” Baby jumps at all four of them shouting. Baby still gives them a suspicious glare, like they’re playing a prank on him. 

“Why would you think that everything should move to the music?” Bats shouts.

“It always has?” Baby doesn’t get why they’re upset. 

“So you never thought it was weird?” Darling asks.

“No?”

“Does anybody ever _not_ move to the music?” Buddy asks.

“People on the TV don’t usually… sometimes crazy people don’t, and uh...” Baby trailed off. 

“And what?” Bats snapped. Baby looked like he’d much rather be somewhere else now. Bats slapped the iPod out of Baby’s hands, and the headphones whipped up as it disconnected, clattering on the floor. 

“Dad didn’t.” It’s barely loud enough to hear, but Doc sighs. 

“Go home Baby.” Rather than going for the iPod on the floor, he just plugs the headphones into another in his pocket. The elevator door shuts quickly behind him. 

“The fuck was that?” Bats asked, only to get a pistol pressing against his nose. “Fine, have yo damn secrets.” He stalked off to the back of the room, waiting for the elevator. Doc picked the pink shuffle off the ground, shoving it in his jacket pocket. 

“So?” Darling pressed quietly, leaning against Buddy.

“So, whatever he is he doesn’t know. And we don’t have anyone we can ask either.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Means the answers are six feet under, and if any of you tell anybody else, you will be too.” Doc walked into the back room after that. 

“That was weird,” Buddy grumbled. 

“I’m buying that boy a speaker so we know what the hell’s goin on.” Darling laughs at Bats. 

“You know he has like, a thousand different iPods right?” Darling mentions as the elevator doors finally reopen. 

“I’m gonna memorize every single damn song in this universe, and I’m gonna be able to dodge cop bullets with the power of fucking music.” The elevator shuts after that. 

“Well at least Bats will finally figure out who Barbara Streisand is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have like four stories 90% done that i just can't figure out how to end. 
> 
> Also i could not stop thinking about the idea that Baby is actually subconsciously changing the world around him to match the music. I also like to think he somewhat inherited it from his mom.


	17. The one where Lady-Baby needs a nose job.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New guy, plus i realized i hadn't drawn lady-baby or the medic. 
> 
> [ The drawing ](https://68.media.tumblr.com/23988c5808c523d47a5425b8845fb885/tumblr_otx30i4GIO1vmzx50o1_540.png)

Baby could tell that Docs newest client might not make it through the week. He was arrogant and large, taller than Doc and fairly buff. Brown messy hair and an ugly goatee. To Baby his eyes burned yellow like amber. And he wouldn’t stop staring at Darling like she was his for the picking. 

Baby subconsciously took the other seat next to her since Comet was already on the other side. Darling shifted her arms to cover her cleavage when she caught Crow staring again. Baby was glad that she personally looked like she just rolled out of bed, with a ridiculously oversized hoodie on, and hair sticking up in every direction. 

Doc sensed the tension and started going over the plan. The costumes were black and orange, which reminded Baby of Halloween. During the plan Baby’s eyes constantly switched back and forth from Doc to Crow, Docs over-enunciated words for Baby’s sake, and Crow’s eyes which keep tracing over Darling. 

“Questions?” 

“Yeah, how do I know these ladies and the kid can handle it?” Darling, Baby, and Comet all glared, and Doc gave him an unimpressed look. 

“These _ladies_ have been working with me for nearly all of the last decade, and the other one is currently under the wing under one of my other experienced clients,” Doc figures he doesn’t have to elaborate beyond that, but Crow apparently doesn’t get that Doc’s done. 

“You sure she can handle driving a car? I know the tards can play fancy instruments, but I wouldn’t trust one behind the wheel.” Crow’s talking like Baby can’t understand what he’s saying, and Baby feels like turning up the music so she can’t.

“Baby’s not disabled, dickhead. She’s just quiet,” Darling says, rolling her eyes. Crow whistles like he thinks it’s hot and Darling starts clicking her nails against the table to stop herself from reaching for the gun in her purse. “Some guys don’t have such fragile masculinity that they have to act like they own the damn place. Doc’s in charge, and the only reason you’re even here is because Buddy got sick.” 

Baby and Doc have the same sly grin on their faces, and Comet looks impressed with Darling. Crow looks like he zoned out and his eyes were right back at her chest. Darling grumbles under her breath before grabbing her purse. “Come on Baby, let’s go.”

They walk in the elevator, and it looks like Crow is about to get up out of his chair to get in with them. Baby hits the elevator door close button. 

“Hey!”

“Sorry, guess I’m too stupid to hit the right button,” Baby shrugs, Darling laughs behind her as the doors shut.

* * *

They’re on the way to the heist, putting on jackets and glasses when Crow starts officially hitting on Darling. 

“I’m married,” Darling grumbles, buttoning up her old black trench just a bit higher than she normally does. 

“Don’t see the ring,” Crow replies cockily.

“Yeah okay I’m gonna wear my twenty-thousand-dollar engagement ring on a heist, that sounds like a smart idea.” Comet awkwardly leans back in his seat, adjusting the newly dyed blue streak in his hair so its hidden under the black when he ties it up. Baby decides not to bring up the fact that Buddy and her stole said engagement ring. 

“Wanna go for a few drinks after?” Crow is clearly not getting the message.

“No.” 

“What? Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to, I don’t like you, you’re not remotely attractive to me, and I’m already with someone because I’m married.” Darling finishes applying the neon orange lipstick with daggers in her eyes.

“Hey you don’t have to be a bitch about it-“ Baby takes the next swerve a bit tight, just enough for Crow to hit the door a bit and the more Baby-driving experienced members of the group to barely shift a muscle. “Hey watch it!”

“Oops,” Baby drawls, trying her best not to sound sarcastic. By the look on Crow’s face it didn’t work. Baby’s mind notes the fact that the grown man is acting like a hormonal teenager, while the actual hormonal teenager is sitting quietly in the backseat, scanning the sidewalks disinterestedly. 

“Don’t be sarcastic with me.”

“Yeah okay, Dad.” Baby means it jokingly, but as he pulls in front of the bank he realized that her father had acted very similarly. Always their way or the highway.

She watches the group walk off towards the bank, all to the beat, but to all different ones. This group doesn’t work, and Baby knows it, but she just switches the song once the trio march into the building. 

Baby’s tapping her fingers to an old Chicago song when she spots Darling come out of the bank vault. She quickly shifts the song to Ms. Hilton, clicking her tongue to the roof of her mouth at the chimes. Everyone’s in the car and Baby floors it as the guitar starts, earning a surprised yelp from Crow in the passenger seat. 

Baby might’ve swung the car around a few more times than necessary, or dodged at the last second more than once. Not that she would ever admit to it, or the fact that Crow screamed in sync with the song on several occasions. Baby had adjusted the mirrors so Crow couldn’t see Darling laughing at him from the back seat. 

By the time they made it to the switch Crow looked sweaty and red, and looked flabbergasted at the others who looked completely fine other than a bit messier hair. “What was _that_!?”

“A getaway?” Baby wasn’t sure what she was supposed to answer. 

“Didn’t feel like one, then again everyone knows women can’t drive, so why am I suprised?!” Everyone rolled their eyes.

“If it wasn’t a getaway then where’s the sirens? Cuz I don’t hear any damn cops, Comet?”

“I don’t hear nothin,” Comet agreed quietly.

“Baby?” Baby shrugged in the most sarcastic way she could manage. 

“Well then, it seems that it was a getaway,” Darling agreed before going to get in the other car. Crow grabbed her by the arm.

“You all think you’re _so clever_ , don’t you? I’ve been at this for five years-“

“I’m pretty sure Baby’s been doing it since I was like… Six,” Comet quietly mentions, Crow glares at him while Darling pulls her gun out of her bag, aiming it with her unpinned arm. Crow slams his other arm over her neck, causing her to gasp and drop the gun before kicking it away. “Really doll, really?”

Baby isn’t as tall or strong but she still runs at Crow anyway, getting a good enough punch in for Crow to let go of Darling. Unfortunately, his hands became available and Baby felt his fist smash into her face, breaking something in her nose, and the sunglasses as well. Comet leaned over, stopping Baby from falling over. Darling made a break for the gun while Baby ducked down slightly, tackling Crow in the legs. While Crow was larger, it still made him lose his balance, and the two toppled over to the ground. Baby’s headphones pulled out, landing on the ground.

Crow kneed Baby off him, getting on his knees and grabbing her by the neck and squeezing. Baby chokes out a gargled sound when Darling finally finds the gun stuck behind the tire of another car. Comet tries hitting Crow in the back of the head, but he’s too scrawny to knock him out, and Crow just gets angrier and squeezes harder. 

Baby’s head is spinning when Darling finally can reach the gun, quickly pulling herself out from under the car. Comet runs out from behind Crow and Darling takes three shots at his head, missing the first but nailing the other two right in the center of Crow’s forehead. It takes a second for his body to start failing completely, and he starts falling back before his grip on Baby has laxed completely, pulling Baby up while he fell. 

Baby sees spots by the time the fingers are dead enough for Comet to pry them off her, and she quickly sucks in a breath, before coughing at the pain and the taste of blood on her lips, rolling over onto her back next to the brain-dead criminal. 

Darling jogs over, pulling a leaf out of her long hair from crawling on the pavement. Baby feels Crow’s blood soaking into her side but she’s too busy breathing to care. Comet looks grossed out but won’t say anything, staring at the two quickly bleeding holes in the center of the dead man’s head. 

Darling drags Comet away, shoving him in the switch car before running back over to Baby. “You okay?” 

Baby wheezed, “Gr-e-at.” Baby pulled off the broken sunglasses, wincing as they pulled off the bridge of her nose. When she realized how blood soaked his hoodie had gotten from being next to Crow she gagged slightly, pulling her stuff out of the pocket before shrugging it off. She wasn’t wearing a bra under her shirt, but she didn’t really care at the moment. 

The earbud of her headphones had gotten stepped on in the scuffle, and was cracked, wires poking out. She left them on the ground and Darling helped her up off the ground, before chucking the bloodied jacket in the trunk with the loot, and hopping in the driver’s seat. 

Baby remembered her face was still fucked up looking, and hopped in the back seat next to Comet. The car jerked slightly as they ran over Crow, and Darling didn’t seem to care in the least as they drove out of the parking lot.

* * *

Doc didn’t look remotely surprised when they came back without their fourth, although he did raise his eyebrows at the state of Baby’s head. Baby just gave him a lazy thumbs up before disappearing into the backroom, presumably to take a nap until the medic was likely called. 

“Not surprised he’s dead, but Baby’s in worse shape than imagined.”

“He attacked me and Baby went right after him… and then Crow started trashing her until I managed to get my gun.” 

“That’s our Baby,” Doc sighed tiredly before making a brief call to the medic. The money sorting didn’t have as much flair as usual as it was split into four piles. Darling was finger-brushing through her hair and Comet just numbly tapped his fingers against the table. 

The medic showed up by the time the money was split up, and Comet took off. Darling held Baby’s hand as her nose was snapped into place. She didn’t scream but Darling winced at how tight Baby’s grip was. The nose was set in place with some gauze and medical tape, and the Medic then started to check out the light bruising growing up Baby’s neck.

“You won’t wanna talk for the next few days, or do anything with moving your neck too much.” Baby rolled her eyes at the first part, and the medic walked out to talk to Doc. Baby got up off the bed, wincing as her nose wrinkled instinctively. 

Baby sat down at the main table, putting her legs up. Darling planted a kiss on her forehead before walking off to the elevator with her loot. The Medic hopped in the elevator at the last second, and the doors clicked shut. Baby played with the shuffles clipped onto the bottom of her shirt until Doc finished cleaning up.

“Need a ride home?” Baby shook her head. She mimed out cell phone easily enough, but had to mouth out pizza a few times before he got it. “You were supposed to work today?” Baby nods. Doc passes over the phone briefly for Baby to punch in the number before putting the phone next to his ear. “Who do we pay again?” Baby mouths out Carol as the line is answered, Doc puts the phone on speaker. 

_“Good Fella’s pizza, how can we serve you today?”_

“May I speak to Carol?”

_“Already are, how can I help you?”_

“I’m calling in reference to Baby, I’m afraid she won’t be coming in today.”

 _“Won’t be coming in today as in sick or as in horribly maimed? Cuz last time she came in with a case of ‘lead’ poisoning, it got infected and she threw up on Ritchie.”_ Doc raised his eyebrow and Baby's face flushed.

“Just lost her voice.” 

_“I’ll tell Daryl she got a bug or something.”_ Carol clearly didn’t believe them completely. 

“Have a good day Ms. Carol.”

 _“You too, suit guy.”_ Carol hangs up.

“Suit guy?” Baby shrugs in response, grabbing her bag and following Doc into the elevator. She listened to the elevator music, wondering if her nose would heal weirdly enough to be renamed Baby the Nose, and hoping that the next car she jacked had some headphones.


	18. The one with the heels.

Darling decides to wear sneakers for the plan meeting. Normally she wears heels, they’re comfortable enough and she likes the clicking noise they make on the concrete floors. And they make her taller than Doc. But her feet are sore today from having to run in them the day before. 

Buddy’s off doing something for Doc in Miami, although she’s not too surprised. They don’t get to work together that often anymore unless Doc gets a surge of new clients, since he still refuses to let the exact same combinations work together twice. 

When the elevator door opens, Doc is getting the plan ready, and Baby is spinning around on the balls of his feet quietly, clearly bored. The other two members of the group either aren’t there yet, or went into the back. Darling walks over to Baby to steal an earbud and find out what he’s listening to, when she realizes she’s staring into his neck. Baby actually has to turn his neck slightly to even look at her. 

“Oh my god, when did you get so tall?” 

“When did you _shrink_?” Baby sounds almost as distressed as she is until she points at her shoes. She realizes that Baby’s either sitting in a chair or in a car 90% of the time that she’s seen him. Doc walks by to go get something in the back room, and she just has enough time to realize that Baby’s got at least 5 inches on him. 

“How tall are you?” She makes a slightly pained noise when Baby just shrugs. “How do you not know?”

“I haven’t had a physical in like four years.” Baby shrugs again. 

“He’s 6’4”,” Doc replies walking back into the room with costume pictures in hand. 

“How do you know, but he doesn’t?” Darling asks. 

“Isn’t Buddy 6’2”?”

“Yeah…”

“He’s two inches taller than Buddy,” Doc clarified. Darling made another whining sound. 

“You used to be tiny,” She pointed at Baby’s chest offensively.

“I used to be 11,” Baby added as the elevator doors dinged, and Griff skipped in, clearly not completely sober. 

“Hey did Darling shrink?” He asked skidding to a stop next to Baby, automatically slapping off his sunglasses. Darling sighed as she realized Griff was shorter too. 

“I’m wearing sneakers, and Baby’s taller then everyone,” Darling complained. Griff looked up, smooshing down his own hair before sliding it across the air, hitting Baby in the nose, who crinkles said body part in annoyance. 

“This is unacceptable; Someone get me a saw.” Baby unconsciously took a step back as the elevator doors opened again. Heaven walked in with freshly re-dyed hair. 

“Why are we just standing here?” They dismally realized that Heaven was barely taller than Darling. “And when did you shrink?”

“Darling’s not wearing heels, and we’re discussing how to shorten Baby to compensate,” Griff answered. Darling pushed Baby down into his normal chair, and they all nodded in agreement before turning to Doc, who had his arms folded, and was tapping his fingers on his forearm, and his foot on the ground like an annoyed teacher. 

“Are the rest of you going to sit down?”

“Absolutely not,” Griff confirmed. Doc just sighed before going over the plan anyway. Baby found it harder to concentrate with three figures looming over him, glaring at the back of his head.

* * *

Baby was listening to Beyoncé two days later, waiting for the others to arrive at the safehouse for the heist when Darling ran in, back in her normal heels, carrying what looked like a shoebox. 

“Guess what I got!” 

“A gun?”

“I always have one of those Baby,” Darling sighed, before opening the box excitedly, revealing black, five-inch, stilettos. 

“Why?” 

“Because it’ll freak Griff out-“ Baby eyed her skeptically “-also it’ll be hilarious watching you walk around in them.” 

“…I hope you know I’m not driving in them.” Darling jumped up excitedly as Baby kicked off his shoes and socks. It took nearly a minute to wedge his feet in the shoes before Darling could pull him up off the chair. 

Baby took a few cautious steps, arms spread out like a trapeze artist. 

“Now do the Single Ladies dance,” Darling cheered, and Baby gave her stink-eye. The elevator doors suddenly opened and they both turned around. Griff walked over, stopping in front of the pair, who were both now taller than him. Griff had to look up to see Baby’s face, like Darling had to a few days ago. 

“I could’ve sworn I didn’t drink anything today,” Griff grumbled, turning around to head to the bathroom, likely to splash cold water on his face. Doc finally came out of the back, glaring at the two. 

“If you break your ankles, you’re still driving,” Doc grumbled, sitting down at the head of the table, flipping open his book. Darling shrugged before running around in a small circle in her own heals, which were four inches with a slightly wider base. Baby glared at her like she was using witchcraft before trying to walk normally, and nearly rolling his ankle. 

Darling actually started doing the Single Ladies dance, and Baby wisely decided to _not_ follow her lead, instead walking around in careful circles around her. Griff finally came out of the bathroom, finally noticing the heels. 

“Yeah no, definitely drunk…” He disappeared back into the bathroom. Baby was too busy watching Griff to look where he was going, and ended up tripping over his own sneakers still on the ground. He pinwheeled his arms trying to balance himself, but only managed to slow his descent slightly before falling flat on his chest. The elevator doors opened and Heaven walked out, only to immediately glare at Baby on the floor. 

“Baby?” Doc called, not bothering to look away from his book. 

“I’m good,” He whined, not bothering to get up off the ground. Griff walked out again stopping next to Heaven.

“You see the heels too, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Weird…” 

“Yeah…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is absolutely just crack, but I don't care because Single Ladies is iconic. Also the fact that Baby's like the tallest character in this movie, which is hilarious. 
> 
> Also if Darling had a weird inconsequential power like Baby's music, it would be the ability to do anything in heels. And i mean anything, she could rock climb if she wanted.


	19. UPDATE: POLL ENDED

Thanks everyone for your responses! Taking down the poll since there was a lot more of you then i expected, but here's the results.

[ The Poll Results](https://www.poll-maker.com/results1133431x0900A504-47#tab-1)

Not gonna delete this chap since people commented ideas and stuff. Anyway i've just been phasing in and out of reality for two days straight, and i'm typing like 70% slower since i just cannot focus with these pain meds at all... Also laughing gas was horrible and i hated it, i was very glad i was only on it for a few minutes before they knocked me out. Anyway uh, gonna try and write tomorrow, gonna try and eat food cuz i can barely open my mouth and i hope you all have a good night. I dunno if you'll get an email when i update this chapter or not. I really don't get AO3 yet... Well i'ma go since my face feels like i shoved a balloon in it. 

Have a good day/night


	20. The one with the s-mothering.

The crash itself wasn’t too bad, they had slowed down just enough that the airbags had gone off and cushioned the blow. But Buddy knows kids aren’t supposed to be in the front when the airbags go off, and especially not in the driver’s seat. He isn’t surprised to see Baby out cold when the bags deflate enough. The cops had crashed much worse than they had, and their doors were dented in slightly. They were still gonna have to run. 

Darling and Eddie had already started grabbing their loot and weapons. Buddy tossed his bag and rifle back to Darling before unbuckling his and Baby’s seatbelts, grabbing the kid quickly but carefully, slinging him over his shoulder as he got out of the car. His headphones and iPod must’ve fallen somewhere under the seat, and they didn’t have time for Buddy to search for them. 

“Who the hell’s gonna drive?” Eddie complained, the first cop managed to crawl out of the car through the back door. 

“Think running’s more important right now, Nose,” Darling mentioned adjusting both her bags before dashing off down the street. Buddy adjusted Baby quickly before running off after her, while Eddie kept the cops at bay for a moment for them to get a lead. Buddy was thankful that Baby still hadn’t had a growth spurt as they ran down the street. 

“Shouldn’t they be shooting at us?” Darling panted scanning each car they ran by. 

“Kid’s probably throwing ‘em off,” Buddy replied before pointing to an older model sports car. Darling ran towards it before kicking out the window with her heels, tossing her stuff through the window into the backseat. She unlocked the door before starting to get the car going, unlocking the doors as soon as it started. 

Buddy put Baby in the far back seat first before hopping in. Darling kicked open Eddies door right before he ran up. He hopped in and Darling drove away, leaving the car-less police behind them. A few minutes into the drive to the switch, Baby started stirring, moving slightly and mumbling. Buddy took the kid’s sunglasses off when suddenly his eyes snapped open, and he began frantically scrambling back into the door of the car. His eyes were wide but didn’t seem to be looking at anything in general, pulling his knees into his chest. 

“Baby! Kid!” Buddy tried reaching forward but the kid just wormed his way farther into the seat, breathing quickly. 

“Buddy what’s going on back there?” Darling looked at him through the mirror, and Buddy backed up seeing if it calmed Baby down. 

“He woke up and started freaking out,” Buddy explained, watching Baby shake like a leaf. Darling quickly started playing with the radio, which didn’t seem to help until she finally found a station without static. 

Baby stopped shaking slowly before eventually blinking a few times, and finally looking around the car. He kept his knees up, but loosened up slightly, staring at the windshield for a while, squirming slightly when they passed a truck to get into the parking garage. 

Buddy passed Baby back the sunglasses. Luckily, they hadn’t broken, but Baby had a small bruise growing on the bridge of his nose, and he ended up just shoving them in his jacket pocket instead. It was weird seeing Baby look like a normal kid, blondish hair flopping around as he jumped out of the car, pushing himself up into the back seat of the switch. The resting bored face was the only thing that really made him look different, other than the Y shaped scar over his eyebrow, which had finally faded to white. 

Buddy got into the passenger’s seat, while Eddie drove, jacket collar up to hide the obvious tattoos on his neck. Darling tried affectionately rubbing Baby’s head, but he shied away backwards slightly, instead just looking out the window with his fingers over the stereo in the door. Darling frowned but ultimately decided to wipe off the sweaty, caked-up, makeup off her face with wet wipes in her purse, still eyeing Baby cautiously out of the side of her eye.

* * *

Doc looked somewhat more emotive as usual as he checked over Baby. It was harder to tell when kids got hurt, since most of them just got up and kept running without realizing anything was wrong. Baby just grabbed a spare pair of headphones from the drawer in his desk, and went back to business as usual. Buddy caught Doc eyeing the kid out of the corner of his eye as Eddie split. 

“He woke up about four minutes after the crash, freaked out a bit till Darling put the music on, but he seemed alright after that,” Buddy admitted. Darling wormed her own arm around his. 

“He talk at all?”

“No, but he doesn’t talk much anyway so-“ Buddy shrugged “-Just seemed a bit freaked out after crashing and then waking up somewhere else.”

Doc humphed slightly before shooing Buddy and Darling off. Darling gave Baby a friendly wave as the elevator door shut. Doc waited until he heard the elevator start moving.  
“Sure you’re good?” Baby just shrugged slightly as Doc switched out the burner phone in his pocket. 

“If you don’t feel good, you call me, and I take you to the doctor. Just because you have to work for me, doesn’t mean I want you driving when you’re hurt, okay?” Baby just nodded quietly in return, patting his jacket pocket where the new phone was. Doc sighed quietly for a moment before going to get the bags. 

The elevator and car ride back were silent.

* * *

The next accident was worse, but Baby managed to stay awake. This time it wasn’t even the cops fault, some car in front of them had jammed on the breaks suddenly, The car behind it hit them, as did the truck behind them, and they hit the truck, just barely having slowed down from getaway speeds. They’d at least had time to brace themselves but everyone in the car was still dazed. 

Baby’s ears were ringing horribly, even through his headphones, and there was glass everywhere around him. Darling was rubbing her head in the seat next to him, Phoenix and Eddie looked slightly disoriented. 

“Everybody okay?” Darling grumbled, shaking glass out of her hair. Eddie gave a rough thumbs up while Phoenix gave a cautious glare at the front seat. They couldn’t hear sirens yet, but that didn’t mean they had time to sit around. 

Baby’s breath started hitching in his chest, and he was glad his sunglasses were still on, because his eyes felt like they were watering underneath. The back doors were kicked open and Phoenix and Eddie got out with their loot, Eddie wobbling slightly on his feet. Phoenix pulled open Baby’s door, taking one look at him before undoing his seatbelt and swinging him around, tossing him onto her back. Baby only had a second to wrap his arms over her shoulders, and legs around her waist before the trio started running. 

The other cars and trucks in front of them were dented and mashed together, and some of the drivers had gotten out to argue at each other, only pausing for a moment to watch the group run by before going back to ranting about varying insurance policies. 

Darling raised an eyebrow when she noticed Baby clinging to Phoenix’s back, but nearly ran into a light pole, and quickly switched back to eyes-front. Once they passed the crashed cars completely Baby’s heart rate finally started to slow down, along with his breathing. He slid up his sunglasses for a second to wipe his face before sliding them back down. 

They finally heard sirens from behind them, which meant they had about thirty seconds before someone noticed the abandoned heist car in the middle of the minor pile-up. They turned around a corner, almost smashing out a car window before Darling pointed across the street. 

“Isn’t that the switch garage?” They glared at the building before Baby gave a swift nod.

“Does Doc care if we don’t drive to it?” Phoenix felt Baby shrug behind her. “Well it’d be stupid to steal a car to drive a hundred yards.” 

They jogged down the street to the crosswalk, not bothering to wait for the light before rushing across, getting a few honks but luckily nobody got hit. They ran into the garage, hiding behind a pillar to make sure the cops weren’t behind them before running up the ramp. 

They searched for the car for a minute before Baby pointed over Phoenix’s shoulder to a black Volkswagen in the corner. Darling and Eddie got in front, ripping off their jackets and hats before tossing them in the foot space behind their seats. Phoenix swung Baby off her back as she climbed in, and he landed on her lap as she shut the door, before promptly wrapping her arms around him softly.

Darling looked at them both weirdly from the driver’s seat. “Is Baby okay?”

“Yeah.” Phoenix lied, plopping her chin on Baby’s head. 

“Then uh…”

“I wanted a hug.” She lied again, and Baby unstiffened and leaned back into the strange embrace.

“If you wanted a hug maybe we could-“ Eddie was cut off as a gun was pointed at his nose.

“No.” Eddie raised his hands up meekly and Phoenix switched back on the safety. Darling switched on the radio, but Baby couldn’t hear it over his own earbuds as he shifted slightly in Phoenix’s lap.

* * *

Doc was mildly concerned when the quartet walked in, with Baby snoozing quietly in Phoenix’s arms.

“Did he get knocked out again?”

“No, Phoenix mothered him to death,” Darling joked, jumping into a chair and stretching out her limbs. Phoenix gave her an evil glare before disappearing into the back room, and laying Baby down on a cot and taking off his sunglasses carefully, before quietly backing out of the room. 

Doc opened all the bags, checking all the clips of cash quickly, stacking them up as he went. Darling had started obnoxiously chewing gum while talking to Buddy on the phone, Phoenix was stretching out in the back of the room, and Eddie had disappeared into the bathroom.

Eddie had come back by the time the money was back in new bags, and Darling had popped a large bubble over most of her face. Doc gave Phoenix a look, so she stayed behind as the others went into the elevator. Darling mockingly swaddled her money bag like a baby as the doors shut. 

“Did he freak out?”

“He was about to, so I just surprised him, picked him up, and ran,” Phoenix admitted. 

“Hm… he was in a pretty bad accident two years ago before the gig, left him with the scar and the hum in the drum.” Phoenix listened wordlessly, since Doc didn’t usually share personal info without a purpose. “He had a bit of a freak out the last time there was a crash, so I need to be sure that it’s getting better, and if it’s not, then I need to find a way to make it better. I can’t have him freezing every time the job goes bad.”

“He was panicking until we got out of sight line of the other crashed cars, then he started to calm down.” Doc hummed quietly to himself. 

“You can go, I have to get Baby home,” Doc disappeared into the back as Phoenix went to the table to grab her own bag, waiting for Doc to come back out before pressing the elevator button. 

Doc and a very sleepy looking Baby came out hand in hand, and Doc hefted both bags over his other shoulder. Baby stumbled tiredly with him to the elevator as the doors opened. Phoenix got off first, quickly rubbing Baby’s hair before getting out, jogging quietly to her own car. 

“You good Baby?” Doc asked. Baby just tiredly hummed in response, swaying on the balls of his feet quietly, hand still latched to Doc’s like he might fall over if he didn’t. “Don’t fall asleep in the car, or I’ll have to wake you up again.” That got a bit more response from Baby, and he actually opened his eyes before humming again. 

Naturally two minutes later when Doc looked through the mirror, Baby was dead asleep in the back seat, snoring quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My face is still very puffy, but i can type words so yay.
> 
> Also rewatched the movie again and started watching B-99 which is hilarious, especially while on painkillers.
> 
> Anyway fun ideas I got from watching the movie for the zillionth time:  
> *Bats mentions having a kid when they steal the mom with the baby's car. Not sure if he was joking but why not  
> *Debora being crazy (Because honestly she barely knew Baby but she was totally willing to become a fugitive with him)  
> *When Baby was running away from the mall shoot-out but before he stole the purple car he checked his pulse while running. Heart problems? I dunno.  
> *Also just Baby has like the worst peripheral vision, he totally didn't see the Vet pull out right in front of them at the beginning of the second chase, or Darling and Buddy pulling out of the mall parking lot. Like that boy needs glasses jesus.
> 
> Take em, don't take em, i'll probably still write em anyway, but heyy its a free world.


	21. The one where Doc reconsiders his priorities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I come back with a long-ish chapter and art. Weird link since there's more than one drawing so i'm pretty sure you'll end up on my tumblr page. 
> 
> [ The drawings ](https://uncharted-constellations.tumblr.com/post/164146252889)
> 
> Also made some other gang communities so i can add a bit more interesting conflict, plus some more teenagers for Griff to corrupt. 
> 
> Also if there's any Virginians I hope all y'all are okay after everything that's happened this weekend in Charlottesville.

When Buddy and Darling walked in Doc was already sketching out the plan, an unnamed woman was painting her nails a vibrant yellow to contrast her dark skin, and Baby was angrily scribbling on a piece of paper, textbook open on the side. 

“English?” Darling asked, sitting on the edge of his desk. 

“History,” Baby mumbled, flipping through the book. The woman turned her head. 

“He talks? We’ve been sitting here for half an hour, and he hasn’t said a word,” She exclaimed, her voluminous hair shook as she turned. 

“He’s just quiet,” Darling smiled before hopping off the desk. “What’s your name?”

“Honey,” She said, lightly clicking the golden nail polish bottle against the table. 

“Darling. And that’s Buddy,” She said, plopping down in the chair next to her, casually stretching so that her tattoo showed. Honey gave her a smirk as Buddy leaned over Baby’s shoulder.

“I thought Hannibal was the cannibal guy,” Buddy grumbled.

“Different Hannibal… This guy had an army of elephants,” Baby explained.

“Why?” Baby just shrugged in response. “They teach kids some weird-ass shit,” Buddy grumbled walking over to Darling, who hopped up long enough for Buddy to sit down before sitting sideways on top of him. “Should teach kids useful shit, like how to do taxes, or shoot a gun.” 

“I already taught him,” Doc mentioned, taping up the last picture. 

“Which one?” Buddy asked. 

“Both.” Buddy whistled. “Baby, time for the plan.”

Baby finished the sentence he was writing before walking over, plopping down at his end seat. He scratched at his pen-ink covered arm while Doc talked, listening to Evil Woman. 

The outfits were simple and were mostly black other than 3 different colored neon ties in pink, blue, and yellow. Baby was pretty sure he had rainbow rimmed sunglasses that would match. It was a simple bank job but Doc wanted Baby to drag out the chase for at least ten minutes.

Apparently, he had a deal with another gang, getting the police off their tail so they could do their job, while getting some of the cash in return. It didn’t happen very often that they worked with other organized gangs, but Doc did get along with a few, or at least neither group had screwed the other over yet. 

It was more dangerous on their end, since Baby had to keep the cops on his tail for a lot longer than he’d like before ditching them. It meant that the cops knew their location, and could try setting up traps accordingly. 

But Baby had never failed a job, and he sure as hell wasn’t gonna fail now. 

“Questions?” Nobody said a word. “Good.”

* * *

Baby was a minute into Free Bird as the others walked into the bank, guns raised and bandannas covering most of their faces. He taped his fingers lightly to the rhythm, sitting low in the seat. He wasn’t 11 anymore, but he, by no means, looked old enough to drive. 

At the songs low point they stormed out of the back of the bank, but some good-doer tackled Honey to the ground, and her open bag spilled out over the floor. Buddy raised his gun to the man’s head, and Baby turned away, wincing at the gunshot. He waited a second before turning back, watching Buddy keep guard while Darling and Honey reloaded the bag. They ran out of the bank as the lyrics re-started, and Baby revved the engine. The song wasn’t quite close to amping up yet, but considering how shitty this drive was gonna get, he didn’t mind saving it for another minute and a half. 

Buddy hopped in the passenger’s side while the others got in the back. Baby floored it out of there as the alarms went off. Honey hadn’t experienced Baby-Driving yet, and had to stop rubbing her skinned knee to grab onto the ceiling hand bar. 

The first cop car showed up as the song started to slowly pick up, speeding up slightly. Baby resisted the urge to slide down a side street, instead just taking sharp, obvious turns down main roads. Another car was behind them about twenty seconds later, and by the time the song switched gears they had five cars on their tail. Baby considered it enough to start speeding up the chase. 

He jumped the car over the divider to dodge an oncoming cop car, before making a turn onto the next street, and the singing part of the song ended completely. He did his best to keep the cops on his tail without letting them get too close for about a minute before they started getting antsy. More cars started trying to catch them through side-streets and alleyways, jumping into the wrong lane without hesitation. 

He let himself drive like he normally did until they got back to the previous five tails, and promptly switched back to something that made him feel like a grandma, but would probably give an actual grandmother a heart attack. 

Seven minutes into the song, and four minutes into the chase someone started getting cocky behind them, speeding up to try and ram their car. Baby sped up, trying to keep an eye on both the road and the mirrors. Luckily Honey had pulled herself close to the door so seeing past her hair wasn’t an issue, but there was still a lot of information to absorb, and he nearly didn’t swerve around a car pulling out of a parking spot in time. 

One of the cops crashed into a van as they skirted through the busy intersection, and his ears rung slightly more from all the horns honking in his face. Baby swerves around a jogger in the intersection by cutting through the other lane, quickly having to fly back onto their side to avoid a semi-truck. The car jumps forward slightly as a cop manages to bash into the back. 

Baby slams the gas, and the cop follows suit, riding right on the edge of their bumper. They’re either very angry or very cocky, and Baby doesn’t know which is worse. He slams the car into the last gear, taking off, getting them at least a ten feet lead. Baby sees a cop leaning out the passenger window, and quickly swerves the car to the left as he tries to shoot out their tires. 

Buddy opens up his window quickly enough, shooting at the other cop. Baby grabs Buddy by the jacket before whipping around the corner, trying to make sure he didn’t accidently fall out. The cops hit their right bumper, and the cop manages to hit the tire. Baby quickly tries downshifting so that they can keep going but the car jerks, slamming into a fire hydrant as the song ended. The airbags luckily didn’t go off, and they quickly got out of the vehicle before dashing down the street. The cops got out of their car quickly enough and were quickly on their tails, guns raised. 

Turn to Stone played as they ran, Baby lagging behind slightly. He would be able to run for longer than the others, but he didn’t have long enough legs yet to keep up. The cops were shouting at them but Baby didn’t care to listen as he focused on running. 

He heard the two quick shots as something stabbed his right shoulder. Baby couldn’t stop the quick yelp from escaping his lips, but managed to keep running. Buddy stopped on the sidewalk from where he was in the lead, long enough to take shots at the cops. They quickly ducked behind a sedan for cover, and Baby managed to speed up enough to catch up with Darling. He kept his right arm to his side as he ran, gritting his teeth and trying to ignore the blood dripping down both sides of his arm. 

Honey took the lead, shooting out a window to a silver car on the side of the road, and unlocking the door. Buddy surged forward, jumping in the driver’s seat, and quickly starting the car with improved skill. Honey hopped in the passenger seat, and a few seconds later Darling and Baby slid in the back seat. 

Buddy took off while Darling struggled to get Baby’s hoodie off. “He okay?” Buddy looked at them through the mirror, quickly heading to the switch. 

“He got at least one to the shoulder, maybe two.” Darling managed to get the sweatshirts sleeve off, carefully rolling up the sleeve of his t-shirt. She pulled off her tie, wrapping it under his arm before tying it. Baby managed to get the other side of the hoodie off on his own, balling it up and passing it over to Darling, who used it like a giant sponge. 

They made it to the switch before any of the other cops managed to catch up, and the others ripped off their jackets and ties before getting in the car, Buddy taking over for Darling while Honey took the wheel. 

Buddy did his best to keep pressure on Baby’s arm, but he still slowly started getting dizzy as the drive to the safe house went on. By the time they parked the car Buddy had his arm wrapped around Baby’s shoulder to keep him from stumbling as they got in the elevator. 

When the doors opened Doc looked pleased for a millisecond as he talked on the phone, before quickly picking up on the general mood and finally noticing Baby. 

“Damnit I’ll call you back-“ He slapped the phone shut before dashing over. 

“Took two to the shoulder,” Darling mentioned, Doc plucked off Baby’s sunglasses and headphones before he could object. Baby’s face looked pale and slightly sweaty, and his eyes looked more droopy than usual. Doc swept his bangs out of his face and Baby barely responded. 

“Baby. You okay?” Doc asked somewhat sternly.

“No…” He mumbled quietly in response. Doc sighed before pulling out his phone, walking over to the side of the room. Buddy picked up the teen with a bit of struggle before plopping him down on the planning table, and going back to keeping pressure on with the blood-soaked hoodie. Darling made sure Baby stayed awake while Honey boredly paced around the room, boots pounding the concrete floor. Doc sorted the money, slower than usual as he kept taking looks at Baby. 

By the time the Medic got there Baby was barely hanging onto consciousness. Darling was disinfecting the table while the Medic got her tools ready, numbing Baby’s shoulder before removing Darling’s tie and cleaning the wound on both sides. She stitched up the back side first so Baby wouldn’t be face down when he inevitably passed out. He surprisingly managed to make it until she started tying up the stitches on the front side.

Everyone looked slightly surprised when the medic slung Baby over her shoulder. “Kid’s shoulder looks pretty messed up, I’m gonna have to take him in, say he had a little sister who found daddies gun or some shit,” She grumbled. Darling packed up the medical bag for her and Doc got in the elevator with her, leaving the other three alone in the safehouse. 

“I screwed up,” Doc admitted. The Medic hummed quietly in response. 

“It was gonna happen sooner or later. Eventually all the cops see is a criminal, not a kid.”

“I did a stupid deal with another gang and told Baby to keep the cops on his tail.” 

“Nevermind, you did fuck up,” The Medic admitted as the elevator doors opened, and they sprinted over to her car, throwing her tools in the passenger’s seat and having Doc and Baby sit in the back. Doc kept a close eye on Baby, making sure his chest kept rising and falling. 

“…Will your story work?” 

“Works better with you here. Can tell them you’re the irresponsible dad, you look guilty enough.” Doc glared. “Right, sorry. I’ll say I’m your neighbor, heard the shots and I patched the kid up best I could before bringing him in… Wish we could switch the outfit but not having the hoodie will have to do.” 

They pulled into the smaller hospital that the Medic worked at a few minutes later, and she scooped Baby back into her arms before storming through the front doors, Doc just a few steps behind her. They managed the performance well enough, knew just enough of the right info without overdoing it, and Baby was taken off on a gurney a few minutes later, leaving Doc to fill out paperwork while the Medic went off to clean up. 

“The kid have someone you should be calling?” 

“No.” Doc didn’t technically lie, calling Joe would be pointless considering he was deaf. Doc was making up stuff on the clipboard, putting random names and phone numbers down, ignoring the insurance section completely before filling out the billing info with his actual information from one of his emergency accounts. 

“We can sneak him out around one, that’s when most of the staff switch over. Gonna need to get something for him to wear though, bloodstained clothes and hospital gowns tend to garner suspicion.” Doc wondered if she was deliberately trying to make him feel guiltier before calling up Phoenix on the phone. 

_“It’s 10 at night Doc, the hell you want?”_

Doc cut to the chase, “Baby got shot and needed surgery, and he needs clothes to change into when we sneak him out.”

Phoenix didn’t waste time either, _“What size is he?”_

“Probably extra small juniors.”

_"What hospital?"_

“WellStar Cobb.” Phoenix hung up the phone. Doc slapped the phone closed and stretched back in the chair, adjusting the sleeves of his jacket. “How bad was it,” He finally sighed.

“He’s lucky, it looked like he only got hit in soft tissue, but it looked like it might’ve hit a nerve. Figured at the least they could clean it up good and get some blood in him.” The medic tapped out a message on her phone. “He shouldn’t drive for at least a month, and if it starts looking infected, call me.” She got up, “I’ve gotta go do my shift, but I’ll help you get him out of here.” 

Doc watched Medic walk away before his phone rang again. 

_“Hey man, you sort out whatever the fuck happened earlier?”_ Doc didn’t particularly feel like dealing with King right then, but didn't hang up. 

“My driver got shot, had to take care of it.” 

_“Dumb fuckin kid.”_ Doc gritted his teeth _“Should your payment be delivered to the same place as last time?”_

“If it’s convenient,” Doc managed to get out without sounding too angry. 

_“Pleasure doing business with you.”_ Doc hung up, fuming for a few seconds before dialing another number. 

_“What’s up Doc?”_

“Patch… I was wondering if you had any trainees that needed some practice in arson.”

 _“Mhm… this shouldn’t have to do with the word around the street that your little driver got shot would it?”_ That woman always knew how to salt a wound.

“No this is just business, I feel like the king’s court needs redecorating, quicker to burn everything down than to move it all.”

_“What’s in it for me?”_

“Eighty grand and some experience for your ‘interns’.” 

_“I’ll gather my associates then…”_ Patch hung up, and Doc snapped the phone shut with a sly grin.

* * *

Phoenix tossed Doc the bag of clothes as he stood outside the door to Baby’s room. Doc himself tossed the bag over to Medic who walked in, and closed the door and window shutters. 

“He awake yet?” Phoenix leaned on the wall on the other side of the door. Hair tied up in a messy bun and fake glasses perched on her nose.

“No, they put him under for the surgery.” 

“Apparently one of the King’s warehouses went up in flames half an hour ago,” Phoenix mentioned casually. 

“Can’t imagine how,” Doc replied smugly.

“Of course,” Phoenix gave Doc a sly smile as the Medic walked out of the room with Baby in her arms, in new clothes and a hospital issued sling. She put him down in a wheelchair, and Doc put his sunglasses back on to mask the fact that he was asleep. The Medic finished filling out the release form as Phoenix disappeared down the other hallway to go get her car. 

They hung around the corner until the woman who checked Baby in finally disappeared from the front desk, and someone new took over. The Medic passed over the release forms, keeping the new guy busy until Doc wheeled Baby outside, and Phoenix pulled up in a black Cadillac. 

Doc struggled slightly getting Baby into the back seat before fastening the seatbelt, kicking away the wheelchair and getting into the passenger seat. 

“Back to the safehouse?”

“The other’s already likely left, but I’d rather not have to bring Baby home unconscious if I don’t have to,” Doc mumbled, keeping an eye on Baby through the mirror.

“Why’d you go after the royals?” Phoenix stopped at the light. 

“I made a crummy deal with them that got Baby shot, and the jackass had the nerve to act like it was Baby’s fault.”

“Hm… And Darling calls _me_ crime mom,” Phoenix muttered quietly, grinning when Doc sent her a glare. 

“They needed to learn some respect anyhow,” Doc replied, adjusting his glasses. 

“They’re not gonna come after us are they?”

“No, I had Patch send some of her new gang members to do it, it’ll scream amateur.” 

“Who’s Patch?”

“Red headed woman with the eyepatch, used to do jobs in Chicago.”

“Should’ve guessed,” Phoenix muttered as the light turned green. Baby stirred slightly in the back seat as they turned. By the time they got to the garage Baby started waking up, limbs awkwardly stretching out apart from his right arm in the sling. They had to sit in the car for a few minutes before Baby had enough control back to walk, although he still leaned heavily on Doc in the elevator after Phoenix took off. 

Doc wasn’t too surprised to see Patch sitting at the planning table, watching her eye trace over both of them as Doc led Baby to his desk for the time being. He noted his and Baby’s bags still sitting at the end of the table before sitting across from the orange haired woman. 

“How’s the kid?’

“He’s been better. Your kids have fun?” 

“Mmm… Bubblegum had a lot of fun with the blowtorch, although Spot prefers the classic Molotov,” Patch mentioned, tying up her hair in a messy bun. Doc slid his chair over to the cash, pulling out eight, ten grand clips from one of the bags. “Prompt, good business.” 

Doc hummed in agreement, sliding back and passing the cash over. “You won’t have much competition from us for the next few weeks, or the court, although they mostly just do jewelry heists anyhow.” 

“Well if any of your clients need a job while the drivers out, feel free to redirect their calls,” Patch put the money in an inner pocket in her jacket before sauntering out towards the elevator. 

“How you doing Baby?” Doc asked watching Baby stretch out his fingers, trying to make them less numb. 

“I feel weird…”

“Anesthetic will do that.” Doc watched Baby look around before stopping at his backpack and groaning. “What?”

“My paper’s due tomorrow.” Doc rolled his eyes as Baby kicked the backpack across the floor from his chair. 

“I’m sure the arm’ll get you out of it. And it’s two a.m., it’s technically due today.” Baby sent Doc a glare that only a teenager could accomplish. “Would Joe be more, or less suspicious if I brought you home now?” 

“It’s not like I can say I stayed at a friend’s house.” Baby muttered quietly, plopping his head down in his arms, light brown hair flopping slightly. 

“Home it is then.” Doc grabbed the bags along with Baby’s backpack before leading him to the elevator. Baby was walking on his own, but he swayed slightly as he moved, leaning against the elevator wall as they got in. And Baby collapsed into the passenger seat of the car, rubbing his eyes. 

“Where’s my…” Baby tapped his ears. Doc pulled the wrapped up iPod out of his pocket before turning the car on. Baby plugged the headphones back into his ears where they belonged, fiddling with the iPod one-handed. Doc passed baby the bottle of painkillers that Medic had snatched, Baby squinted at the label before tossing them in his backpack. 

“One every four hours once the numbness goes down, they’ll make you drowsy so try and just use Advil during school,” Doc instructed as they pulled out of the garage, Baby just nodded quietly. “Are you angry with me?” Baby looked up with a surprised look on his face. 

“Why would I be mad?”

“I got you shot to make more money. I would be angry with me.”

“I got me shot by crashing the car, the others got me shot by running ahead, and the cops got me shot by pulling the trigger,” Baby shrugged. Doc gave him a wistful smile.  
“Guess you do learn something in school.”

Baby gave him a strange look, “Three of my teachers didn’t even show up yesterday.” 

“What did you do then?”

“Sub gave us worksheets to do… so everyone just talked the whole time,” Baby shrugged. 

“What’s the point then?” Doc scoffed, turning down the street. 

“How would I know-” Baby grumbled, leaning back in his seat “-Too busy learning about a dude and his elephant armies.” 

The rest of the drive was quiet, Baby lightly tapping his fingers against the arm rest and Doc occasionally flicking on the blinkers. When they got to the apartment building, the light to Baby’s apartment was off. 

“Don’t trip going up the stairs,” Doc warned as Baby hopped out of the car, backpack over his left shoulder. 

“I make no promises…” Baby sighed before kicking open the door and disappearing inside. Doc sat there until he saw Baby’s apartment light go on, before finally driving away. He grumbled under his breath as he internally realized that the kid had started growing on him like a fungus.


	22. The one with the parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why i keep writing angst but it's better than nothing i suppose. 
> 
> Also- **WARNING FOR: CHILD ABUSE**

Baby jogged into the meeting five minutes late, sunglasses off and pressing a frozen bag of peas to his face. “Tripped going down the stairs,” He panted, clearly out of breath as he dropped into his chair. Doc gave him a few seconds to get his heartrate down before starting to go over the plan. 

Heaven boredly clicked his lighter, Eddie tapped his fingers on the table, and Darling kept flicking her eyes in between the planning board and Baby. The board had pictures of the privacy glasses along with dark purple suits and white shoes, and a map leading to a nearby jewelers. Doc’s voice warbled quietly underneath the ringing and the vocals of Lady Gaga. 

“Questions? Good.” Doc started taking the pictures down to burn them, and Darling rolled her chair over to Baby. 

“Lemee see Baby boy,” she crooned, leaning over the desk. Baby sighed before pulling the bag off of his eye, and Darling hissed. “That’s a nasty shiner you got, how’d you get that going down stairs?”

“He must’ve fallen into somebody’s fist on the way down,” Eddie said sarcastically, Baby shot him an annoyed look. 

“Hit the banister at the bottom,” he lied, putting the cold peas back against his face and slouching against the table. Darling hummed quietly before rubbing her hands through Baby’s hair and walking off towards the elevator with the other two. 

“See you Monday Baby!” She shouted as the elevator shut. Doc finished wiping off the board, putting the eraser down.

“Sure you don’t want me to deal with it?” Doc asked in a rather bland tone, defying the soft look in his eyes. 

“I can handle it,” Baby mumbled into the crook of his elbow. 

“I know that, but you don’t _have_ to,” He sighed as Baby didn’t look up. “At least reconsider letting Phoenix teach you some self-defense,” He added before disappearing into the back room. Baby groaned to himself before getting up to wait at the elevator.

* * *

Darling got out of the front seat, hopping into the back with Eddie. Heaven opened up the front window to smoke, and Eddie promptly closed his to keep the smoke out of the car. The school bell rung and teenagers flooded out, some with no backpacks at all and others loaded up with so many extra books or art canvases they looked like their arms were about to fall off. 

Five minutes later and Baby hadn’t shown up. 

“Maybe the kid got detention,” Heaven grumbled. 

“For what? He barely talks, what kind of shit could he get into?” Eddie responded, and Darling flipped open her phone. 

_“What.”_

“Baby’s not here, the bell rang a few minutes ago.”

 _“I’ll call him.”_ Doc hung up and Darling groaned, slapping the phone shut. They sat in bored silence for another three minutes before Doc finally called back. 

“What’d he say?”

 _“He didn’t pick up, I’m sending you his address.”_ Doc hung up the phone and Darling’s phone buzzed a few seconds later. She kicked open the back-seat door and got back in the driver’s seat, reversing before blasting out of the parking lot. Heaven dropped his cigarette out the window by accident. 

The car squealed slightly as they eventually stopped in front of an older house right outside the main city. An old beat up Mercedes sat outside, the back bumper was full of dents. Heaven lit another cigarette as they got out of the car. 

“Do we knock?” Eddie asked, Darling snuck up to the main window, peering into the home. A woman with dark hair, but bleached blonde tips sat in front of the TV in a wheelchair, staring at the TV with dead eyes. 

“And say what, ‘hey we’re a criminal boy band, give us your kid?’” Heaven scoffed, taking a long drag. Darling had almost forgotten that they were still all wearing the matching suits as Eddie knocked on the door, and the woman in the living room didn’t react at all. They heard a crash upstairs and loud cursing, but no one came downstairs. Eddie opened the door with no resistance, and they all walked in, Heaven chucking his cig on the sidewalk outside before shutting the door. 

Darling stepped over a broken beer bottle to get into the living room, and the woman took a few seconds to notice, looking up with sad eyes.

“We’re friends of your son, we came to pick him up, is he here?” Darling asked in a soft voice. The woman just leaned backwards, looking up at the ceiling with a scared look in her eyes. They heard another crash from upstairs, and the sound of metal being dragged across wood. Heaven looked up the staircase as they heard a man yelling vaguely. 

A door was thrown open and suddenly two figures were in front of the staircase, Baby and a man who must’ve been his father. They heard skin hit skin and suddenly Baby was going down the stairs backwards. Heaven jumped out of the way as Baby hit the ground with the side of his face to the ground, eyelashes fluttering for a second before closing, a small head-wound leaking down his face, blood dripping over the still bruised eyelid. 

Darling stares at Baby’s unconscious body for a second before she jumps over his twisted body and storms up the stairs with her gun out, Eddie trailing behind her, and Heaven deciding to stay downstairs away from the conflict. Baby’s dad is hurling dresser drawers in a small green room, iPod’s and sunglasses are strewn across the wooden floor, and a twin bed is awkwardly crooked in the middle of the room. Two clips of cash are sitting right on the edge of the dresser he’s tossing, glaring against the old white paint. 

The man turns when he hears Darlings short heals click against the floor, ugly scarring marring a great deal of his face. “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” He storms forward and Darling doesn’t hesitate before emptying the entire clip into the man’s face, watching him fall face first into the ground with a satisfying wet slap. 

The house is silent for a moment, Eddie and Darling watch the blood pool on the floor panels, and the body untense and slowly sink farther into the floor. 

This was not how the heist was supposed to go.

“Heaven, is Baby…” she called out.

“He’s still breathing… No idea what state he’s in,” Heaven admitted, squatting awkwardly at ground level. The woman, likely Baby’s mother, wheeled over to Baby, reaching down as best as she could, only managing to lightly pet his limp arm. “Probably shouldn’t move him…” 

Darling flipped open her phone before hitting redial. _“You get him?”_

“Baby got tossed down the stairs, and I’m pretty sure I unloaded a clip in his dad’s face.” The line was silent for a moment.

_“Can Baby be moved?”_

“He’s twisted all weird, so I don’t think so,” she sighed. “I shouldn’t have done it, now it’s a big mess.”

 _“If I ever had to meet the man, I probably would’ve shot him too. Just not in his own house.”_ Doc took a moment to think, _“Is he bleeding on carpet?”_

“No, old hardwood… You think we should just clean up, take the body, and leave?”

_“Hmm, it wouldn’t be too unbelievable that he stormed off and left. Toss the body in the trunk, have Eddie fly their car down the street just in case any of the neighbors are home.”_

“What about Baby?” 

_“Change up, call in, pretend to have been walking by, noticed the front door open. Have Heaven… Just have him drive the body back to the safehouse, I’ll have someone else sunset the car.”_

“Roger that.” She hangs up the phone, walking into the bathroom and grabbing a towel, wrapping it around the man’s head like a turban. 

“What’s the plan?” Eddie asked.

“Dump the body in our trunk, you floor it out of here in their car once I’m done with this.” Eddie nodded, grabbing the body by the arms and dragging it down the stairs, getting it over Baby with Heaven’s assistance. The woman stared at the body quietly before grinning slightly as they carried it out of the house, shoulders locked like two guys helping out a drunk friend. 

Heaven walked back into the house, “What do I do?” 

“Just drive the car back to the safehouse once I’m done cleaning up… Doc said he’s taking care of it.” Heaven gave a firm nod before walking out of the house, shutting the door.

Darling started mopping up the blood on the floor with a red towel, rinsing it out in the bathtub when the entire thing got soaked. 

When the blood was wiped up she considered bleaching the floor just in case, only to notice old blood splatters on the floor, clearly not cleaned up like the large puddle had been. Even if they did test the floor for blood, the entire family would probably come up on the test. She felt a bit sick as she bleached the bathtub, tossing the purple suit in as well. She walked into the master bedroom, finding an old pair of sweats and a t-shirt that must’ve belonged to Baby’s mom in the long-gone days when she could exercise. 

The clothes fit well enough, and Darling washed herself up with a washcloth for any remaining blood on her skin. She drained the tub and rinsed everything of bleach before tossing it in a garbage bag. She carefully stepped over Baby before tossing the bag into the backseat of what used to be their heist car. 

Clearly the neighbors either weren’t home, or were used to violence at this house. Heaven took off in one direction, driving casually. Darling walked down the block slightly until she heard the sound of Eddie flooring it down the street, tires squealing. She ran back to the house through the front door she left open, Baby’s mother gave her a sly smirk as she dialed 911, sounding as breathless as she could. 

_“911, what’s the nature of your emergency?”_

“Oh my god I was just jogging and I heard tires squealing, and there was this house with the front door open and there’s a kid at the bottom of the stairs and his face is bleeding everywhere, and there’s broken glass,” Darling rambled as convincingly as she could “There’s this lady in a wheelchair and it might be his mom, but I don’t think she can talk-” 

_“What’s the address?”_

Darling walked backwards out of the house pretending to look at the house number before stuttering through the address. 

_“They’ll be there in a few minutes,”_ the responder assured. 

”Should I stay here or-“

_“Yes Ma’am.”_

“Yeah okay, I’ll leave the door open.” Darling hung up the phone before checking Baby’s pulse again, and going upstairs to double check her clean up job, spraying the bathroom with air-freshener to block the last remaining scent of bleach and tossing the two ten grand clips under a floor board in Baby’s room, where ironically the rest of the cash was hidden. She put the carpet back over the loose floorboard, before going back down the stairs, sitting crisscross next to Baby’s body.

“Th-ank you,” The woman across from her whispered quietly, voice raspy. She then mimed locking her lips and throwing away the key, Darling gave her a sly smile, and the woman returned it, even if the left side of her face didn’t seem to move. 

The ambulance showed up before the cops. Baby was put in a neck brace before they slowly untwisted his awkward landing position to get him onto the stretcher. Darling had to answer a few questions before Baby’s mom wheeled in quietly whispering that her husband was very drunk and angry. They left Darling alone to conduct a very quiet interview, and Darling was allowed to leave by another officer. 

She half considered staying with the crippled woman before deciding that it would ultimately be more suspicious, instead promising to come by once Baby had recovered. That sounded like something a sympathetic civilian would say. She groaned once she realized she actually had to jog back to the safehouse, since she no longer had a ride.

* * *

Doc’s hospital contact called two hours later, reporting that Baby had a broken neck, but luckily no spinal injuries. Eddie and Heaven didn’t hang around after doing their parts, each collecting some money from Doc for the assistance. Darling was still sitting in Baby’s mother’s old clothes, waiting for Buddy to come pick her up.

“Should’ve killed the idiot myself,” Doc grumbled, pushing up his glasses to rub his eyes. 

“What?”

“Baby insisted that he could deal with it, and I let him,” He sighed. “I don’t think they were ever particularly happy…” Darling nodded quietly, letting Doc ramble. “They got in a crash a few months before Baby became my driver… His mom was mostly paralyzed from the waist down and her vocal cords were heavily scarred, his dad got glass to the face, and Baby got away with a few scars and tinnitus.” 

“Guessing it didn’t get better after that,” Darling muttered sarcastically. 

“Hmm… Baby’s mom used to be a singer, when she lost her voice that income stopped, and he couldn’t get a job anywhere respectable with his face looking like he lost a battle with a blender.” Darling snickered at that. “With Her in a wheelchair Baby likely took the brunt of everything…” Doc sighed.

“Baby’s quiet but he’s stubborn,” Darling mumbled, and Doc hummed in agreement. 

“It’s over with now anyhow, the police won’t dig too far into it, and Baby has the money to support them,” Doc got up to stretch his legs slightly. “Although I hope you two aren’t low on cash, Baby’s not driving until that neck heals.”

“No, we’re good for a few months…” She responds as her phone buzzes at her hip. “Better not keep Buddy waiting.” Doc just hummed in agreement as she got in the elevator.

* * *

Even though Baby’s real name wasn’t mentioned since he was technically a minor, Darling managed to find out that his mother’s name was Jenny. She turned the TV off after that, not bothering to learn the name of the piece of trash she’d killed earlier that day.


	23. Ayyyeee new shit kinda

Anyway, uh not dead, and i didn't stop writing i just stopped finishing like... anything so uh marked this one as complete and made it a series.

Killer Track has a bunch of unfinished stuff... might finish it eventually but you know better than nothing. I still have some stuff that's too short to even bother posting yet but it'll go there.

Then there's 2 more slightly more plot driven stories which'll be like 3-5 chapters each. One was written before all that Kevin Spacey shit came out but it's not shipping so i guess i'll finish it. 

Happy Thanksgiving if you're into that holiday if not uh, happy holidays

Anyway uh, toodloo or somethin, i dunno.


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